Ophelia Dingbatter's News|
NO Sermon here, and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
BLOG | Subscribe | |
Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.
Can you afford $1 per month?
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,
2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,
3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you
successfully receive the free subscription!
If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.
Do NOT complain to me,
if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.
There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what
goes on at your ISP or in your computer.
4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at
You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.
If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, March 27
Thanks for voting for me!
Those who matter don't judge me.
Those who judge me don't matter.
Those, who click me some grocery money,
When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague
offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the
hardest," she said.
"How long have you been married?" I asked.
"Ten years," she replied.
A young nurse was giving an old army man a bath and
told him he would have to wash his own privates.
"Privates?!" he shouted. "At my age they should be at
least Generals by now."
The young Swedish au pair had been working for the
Schmitts for more than a year. While hardworking and
efficient, she still struggled with English.
One day she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had received
good news from her boyfriend Sven. "He is coming
visit me from army next week!"
"That's wonderful," the woman replied. "How long is
"Oh," the young woman said, "about long as Mr.
Schmitt's. Maybe little ticker."
This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and,feeling
real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks,"Why don't
we get it on,eh?"
She replies "I have an appointment at the
gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to
make love the night before."
So the husband agrees and rolled back over and
started to go back to sleep.
A few minutes later,he nudges his wife again and
asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's
appointment tomorrow, do you?"
There was a young engineer named Miss Holt,
Who had an assistant as spry as a Colt.
When she asked for a screw,
What did the young man do,
But offer her two nuts and a bolt.
Jill: C'mon, Mary, exactly how many men have you been
Mary: Now, Jill, I've taken the Army's policy on that
information and adapted it for my own situation.
Jill: What do you mean?
Mary: Don't ask; don't tell; don't remember.
Cover up the picture,
and tell me how many horses were in it.
Click to subscribe to the full version!
||If you like my work,|
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!