Ophelia Dingbatter's News
NO Sermon here, and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.

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Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, August 25

(`v)
Ophelia


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1 "True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home." --- John Hay (1838 - 1905) ____________________________________________________ 2 A judge in Louisville decided a jury went "a little bit too far" in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years. ___________________________________________________ 3 What's long and hard for a man? Marriage ____________________________________________________ 4 Next time you are in a car with a friend, and you pull up to a red light. Look at the guy in the car next to you, roll down your window really fast (like you want to talk to him), and when the guy rolls HIS window down..... look at him and yell..... "Oh, did you fart too?" ____________________________________________________ 5 Men love sex with redheads, but their wives don't appreciate it! ___________________________________________________ 6 What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. ___________________________________________________ 7 Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Mrs. Right Now. ___________________________________________________ 8 Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious." "No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been meeting here for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing." "True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!" ====================================================
Ophelia Dingbatter
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Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia ===================
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Ophelia Dingbatter
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or two, if you can afford it!
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