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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, September 28 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. Well, keeping my comments short did not help one bit. So far. Do I have to get mouthy again? Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying, and father stork is trying to calm him, "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork parents are desperate. Their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns, and the parents ask him where he's been all night. Says the baby stork, "Nowhere in particular. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"
Skamania
Beer Goggles For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, September 27 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. Well, keeping my comments short did not help one bit. So far. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
An American businessman in Glasgow walked into a restaurant and asked the waitress what the special was. "Roast and rice," the Scottish miss replied in a heavy brogue. "You certainly do roll your R's," the businessman observed. "I suppose," she giggled, beginning to blush, "but only when I wear high heels."
Lava Wonders
Somebody is going to be late for church again!
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, September 26 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you think of in time. --- Benjamin Franklin Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Jim and Fred are at the local bar discussing the respectve sex lives "Well," says Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with doin' the same thing night after night after night. I guess I'm hankering' for a bit of variety." Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn upside down every now and again?" Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?"
Goofy Critters
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, September 25 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. A man is only as old as the woman he feels. --- Groucho Marx Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her. When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a .. well . . . unusual request. But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret." The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man -- sigh -- he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man . . . " The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes yes!" "And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door . . ." "Yes yes!" "Would you help me move the refrigerator?"
Ugggly
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Since July 1, 2011,
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, September 24 Moose, I heard you left Egypt in a sudden hurry, and went very far away. What happened? If it is not safe to email, use Skype! Even though Microsoft messed with it, it is still secure. Just text with it. We DO care! As for the rest of you, I do need more subscribers! I'll even promise to keep my personal comments short. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, " What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Divine Dairy
Redneck Yacht, I love it!
Today's Movie:
Click through to "Wet Paint"
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
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