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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, September 30 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!My MasterCard is under the North-East leg of my fridge, because a year ago I got sick and tired of their letters telling me that at my present rate of paying, it will be paid off in 67 years. I am making payments on it, but I am definitely not using it. Now and then some sleazy crooks, like Fredericks, with whom I have never in my life dealt with, try to charge me for stuff, that I didn't order and that they didn't ship. So I call MasterCard and tell them it's a fraudulent charge and that I won't pay for it. Eventually they take the fraudulent charges off my bill, sometimes even without having to nag them. In the meantime, though, they charge me 28+% interest on them, same as on the rest, that I owe them. And then, while they are proccrastinating about removing the fraudulent charges, they have the nerve of having some jerk whine at me about being behind with my payments. Did I ever tell you, that I have a side, that is not sweet and diplomatic? Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A mother takes her 5 year old kid to the sporting goods store and says to the man working there, "I want to buy a baseball mitt for my son. How much does it cost?" The clerk says, "$50." "That's way to much. How much for that bat?" "$5," says the clerk. "I'll take it," the mother replies. As he's wrapping it up he says, "How about a ball for the bat?" "No thanks," says the mother, "But I'll go down on you for the mitt."
Sonic Booms
Canadian Clay And Glass Gallery
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, September 29 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. Well, keeping my comments short did not help one bit. So far. Do I have to get mouthy again? What does it take for you to forward my newsletter to friends, who are literate enough to subscribe? Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A congregation honours a pastor twenty-five years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all-expenses paid. When he walks into his room, there's a nude girl lying on the bed. He picks up the phone, calls his church, and says, "Where is your respect? As your pastor, I am very, very angry with you." The girl gets up and start to get dressed. He says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry at you."
Steel Drums
Two Broom Jose
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, September 28 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. Well, keeping my comments short did not help one bit. So far. Do I have to get mouthy again? Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying, and father stork is trying to calm him, "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork parents are desperate. Their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns, and the parents ask him where he's been all night. Says the baby stork, "Nowhere in particular. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"
Skamania
Beer Goggles For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, September 27 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. Well, keeping my comments short did not help one bit. So far. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
An American businessman in Glasgow walked into a restaurant and asked the waitress what the special was. "Roast and rice," the Scottish miss replied in a heavy brogue. "You certainly do roll your R's," the businessman observed. "I suppose," she giggled, beginning to blush, "but only when I wear high heels."
Lava Wonders
Somebody is going to be late for church again!
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, September 26 I do need more subscribers! I even promise to keep my personal comments short. It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you think of in time. --- Benjamin Franklin Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Jim and Fred are at the local bar discussing the respectve sex lives "Well," says Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with doin' the same thing night after night after night. I guess I'm hankering' for a bit of variety." Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn upside down every now and again?" Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?"
Goofy Critters
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
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