Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, Aug 27

Have a great weekend!

Enjoy!
Ophelia


Here is a tiny sample of the types of jokes you get in the 
one dollar per month version. Of course, there are a lot
more of them in the full version, plus the pictures of the 
day and the movie of the day.



A snooty matron caught the supermarket stock boy at an 
unguarded moment.
"Young man," she demanded icily, "Don't you know it's bad 
manners to scratch your balls before others?" 

He stammered around for a few minutes, then ask in 
bewilderment, "What am I supposed to do...offer to
scratch yours first?"



Today's goofy movie is "Finger flipping car chase"

Enjoy!
Ophelia

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day, $1 per month or $10 per year. Can you afford $1 per month? To subscribe, 1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber, 2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me, 3) That will get you the free subscption. If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4. If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.    Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you         successfully receive the free subscription!     If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you, then the paid version will not make it either.    Do NOT complain to me,       if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.      There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what       goes on at your ISP or in your computer.   4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter, you can pay for your subscription to the full version at You can pay easily and securely with PayPal, even if you don't have a PayPal account. Just use your credit or debit card or E-check. If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me. Please send it to Webby, inc Box 646 Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0 Canada Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia. I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about receiving your check. Enjoy! Ophelia

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

Large Font Version   |      |  Subscribe  |

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software © Webby 1996-2011

     54504

  |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 626 )

---

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, Aug 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support fro the troops!


Is anybody awake out there? Or is everybody sound asleep
on some windy beach? Or did the sharks get you?

It seems eerie, not getting ANY feedback for over a week.
You CAN steer the direction of this ship with feedback.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


Here is a tiny sample of the types of jokes you get in the 
one dollar per month version. Of course, there are a lot
more of them in the full version, plus the pictures of the 
day and the movie of the day.



Perils of Senior Dating
Martha and Mary, two widows, are talking at the Bowling Alley.

Martha: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date...
I know you went out with him last week and I wanted to talk
with you about him before I give him my answer."

Mary: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment
punctually at 7 P.M. Dressed up like such a gentleman in a
fine suit. And he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he
takes me downstairs and what's there but a beautiful car. . .
a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. 

Then he takes me out for dinner. . .marvelour dinner - lobster. 
Then we go see a show let me tell you, Martha, I enjoyed it so 
much I could have just died from pleasure! 

So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into 
an ANIMAL!!! Completely crazy. He tears off my expensive 
new dress and has his way with me two times! He's an 
old Marine!"

Martha: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I shouldn't
go out with him?

Mary: "No . . . I'm just saying, wear an old dress!"



Today's goofy movie is "Multiple Gags"

Enjoy!
Ophelia

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day, $1 per month or $10 per year. Can you afford $1 per month? To subscribe, 1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber, 2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me, 3) That will get you the free subscption. If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4. If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.    Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you         successfully receive the free subscription!     If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you, then the paid version will not make it either.    Do NOT complain to me,       if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.      There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what       goes on at your ISP or in your computer.   4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter, you can pay for your subscription to the full version at You can pay easily and securely with PayPal, even if you don't have a PayPal account. Just use your credit or debit card or E-check. If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me. Please send it to Webby, inc Box 646 Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0 Canada Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia. I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about receiving your check. Enjoy! Ophelia

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

Large Font Version   |      |  Subscribe  |

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software © Webby 1996-2011

     54368

  |  permalink  |   ( 2.9 / 93 )

---

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, Aug 25

Is anybody awake out there? Or is everybody sound asleep
on some windy beach? Or did the sharks get you?

It seems eerie, not getting ANY feedback for over a week.
You CAN steer the direction of this ship with feedback.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


Here is a tiny sample of the types of jokes you get in the 
one dollar per month version. Of course, there are a lot
more of them in the full version, plus the pictures of the 
day and the movie of the day.



Little Johnny's mother decided to tell him all about making babies, so
she had "the talk" with him.

Afterwards Little Johnny just sat there silently for awhile.

"Do you understand?" his mother asked.

"Yes," replied Little Johnny.

"Do you have any questions?" asked his Mother.

"Yes, how about little kittens and puppies?" asked Little Johnny.

"In exactly the same way as  with babies", answered his Mom. "Wow!"
Little Johnny exclaimed. "So THAT is why they say, that my daddy 
will screw ANYTHING!"



Today's goofy movie is "Chinese Magic"

Enjoy!
Ophelia

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day, $1 per month or $10 per year. Can you afford $1 per month? To subscribe, 1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber, 2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me, 3) That will get you the free subscption. If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4. If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.    Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you         successfully receive the free subscription!     If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you, then the paid version will not make it either.    Do NOT complain to me,       if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.      There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what       goes on at your ISP or in your computer.   4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter, you can pay for your subscription to the full version at You can pay easily and securely with PayPal, even if you don't have a PayPal account. Just use your credit or debit card or E-check. If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me. Please send it to Webby, inc Box 646 Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0 Canada Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia. I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about receiving your check. Enjoy! Ophelia

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

Large Font Version   |      |  Subscribe  |

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software © Webby 1996-2011

     54209

  |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 94 )

---

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, Aug 24

Protests demand equal topless rights 
LAS VEGAS (UPI) -- The Raelian Movement, which teaches, that 
life on Earth was created by aliens, had its fourth-annual 
"GoTopless Day" protests in several U.S. cities. 

GoTopless.org, founded by the movement's spiritual leader, 
Rael, organized protests Sunday in locations including Los 
Angeles, San Francisco and Chicago. Women participating 
in the protests were urged to go topless while men were 
encouraged to cover their chests to illustrate the slogan, 
"Topless equal rights for all or none." 

"It's no more ridiculous than women having to wear tops 
at all times in this double-standard topless battle that's 
being waged in public and in the courts," said Nadine 
Gary, a Raelian priestess and president of GoTopless.org 
based in Las Vegas. 

"After four years, our national protests are starting to bear 
fruit, for a growing number of women across the country 
are reaching out to us. They're beginning to feel empowered 
by our demonstrations and the constitutional message we 
bring." 

Gary said the cause is backed up by Raelian philosophy, 
which holds humanity was created scientifically by an 
advanced race of extraterrestrials. 

"They created us in their image very scientifically, through 
genetic engineering," Gary said. So how can the human 
body, a masterpiece, be perceived with shame?" 

In New Zealand and Australia the protests are indoors, in 
gyms and fitness centers, coinciding with their snowy season 
membership drive. Topless women get a month free, men pay 
double. But apparently, they don't mind supporting a good 
cause.



Enjoy!
Ophelia


Here is a tiny sample of the types of jokes you get in the 
one dollar per month version. Of course, there are a lot
more of them and the pictures of the day and the movie
of the day.


from Kim
Following the birth of my second child, I called our insurance
company to inquire about my short-term disability policy.

"I just had a baby," I proudly announced to the representative who 
picked up the phone.

"Congratulations!  I'll get all of your information and activate
your policy," she assured me.  After taking down basic facts
like my name and  address, she asked, "Was this a work-related
accident?"



Today's goofy movie is "Bull Jumping"

Enjoy!
Ophelia

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day, $1 per month or $10 per year. Can you afford $1 per month? To subscribe, 1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber, 2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me, 3) That will get you the free subscption. If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4. If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.    Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you         successfully receive the free subscription!     If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you, then the paid version will not make it either.    Do NOT complain to me,       if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.      There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what       goes on at your ISP or in your computer.   4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter, you can pay for your subscription to the full version at You can pay easily and securely with PayPal, even if you don't have a PayPal account. Just use your credit or debit card or E-check. If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me. Please send it to Webby, inc Box 646 Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0 Canada Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia. I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about receiving your check. Enjoy! Ophelia

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

Large Font Version   |      |  Subscribe  |

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software © Webby 1996-2011

     54078

  |  permalink  |   ( 3.1 / 112 )

---

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, Aug 23

It looks like our newsletter has hit a plateau. Hopefully,
as the peak summer heat tapers off, more of you will
forward the newsletter to friends, who will subscribe.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


Here is a tiny sample of the types of jokes you get in the 
one dollar per month version. Of course, there are a lot
more of them and the pictures of the day and the movie
of the day.


Judy and Little Johnny were riding down the road and Little Johnny
swerved slightly to go past a pretty blonde jogging.

Judy said, "Did you see her?"

"Well, yeah." said Little Johnny. "That's why I had to swerve 
around her."

"That really gets me. I've never understood that about women. 
She was wearing a necklace, two bracelets, hoop earrings, 
her nails were freshly polished with Salerno Mavala nail polish, 
she'd recently spritzed Chanel behind her ears, and she was 
wearing Yves Saint Laurent lip gloss!" Judy said.

"You noticed all that?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes I did. You didn't?" replied Judy.

 Little Johnny said, "Not exactly. All I noticed was that 
 she had  legs all the way up to her very well rounded 
 cute little butt,  a spectacular set of tits 
 and no wedding ring."

Then Little Johnny had to swerve again to avoid being 
slapped by a very irate Judy!



Today's goofy movie is "Sexiest Bartender"

Enjoy!
Ophelia

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day, $1 per month or $10 per year. Can you afford $1 per month? To subscribe, 1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber, 2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me, 3) That will get you the free subscption. If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4. If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.    Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you         successfully receive the free subscription!     If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you, then the paid version will not make it either.    Do NOT complain to me,       if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.      There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what       goes on at your ISP or in your computer.   4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter, you can pay for your subscription to the full version at You can pay easily and securely with PayPal, even if you don't have a PayPal account. Just use your credit or debit card or E-check. If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me. Please send it to Webby, inc Box 646 Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0 Canada Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia. I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about receiving your check. Enjoy! Ophelia

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

Large Font Version   |      |  Subscribe  |

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software © Webby 1996-2011

     53907

  |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 117 )

---

Back Next

Next news will be tomorrow. <BR> - Page Generated in 1.1461 seconds | Site Views: 45687