Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, June 11

If you have a friend, who can afford $10 a year,
please do tell her or him about my newsletter!


"A German psychologist says that women talk more than men
because they have a bigger vocabulary.  
But, it evens out because men only listen half the time."  
--- Jay Leno

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


The neighborhood postman was retiring after 25 years. 
On his last day of delivering mail, all of the people on his 
route left him something in the mail box in honor of his 
retirement. Some left money, some left small gifts, and 
some met him at the door and invited him in for a meal. 
This went on all through the neighborhood. 

As he proceeded through his route, the gifts got better 
and better. One house even gave him a gold watch! 

He was so satisfied, but the last house paled that in 
comparison. 

As he was putting the mail in the mailbox, the door opened, 
and the woman of the house stood there in beautiful lingerie. 
She invited him inside. 

He knew that this woman's husband was a truck driver and 
was away, so he went inside. 

She proceeded to give him the day and night of his life. 

The next morning he woke up to find she was bringing 
him breakfast in bed. 

He found a dollar bill under his plate as he ate and 
asked her about it. 

She explained, "When I called my husband to ask him 
what we should give you for your retirement, he said, 
'well screw him, give him a dollar.' 
Breakfast was my idea." 



After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good
news: "Honey, we've finally saved enough money to buy what we started
saving for in 1989." 

"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.

"No," said the husband, "a 1989 Cadillac."



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A woman's parrot died one day and she went to the pet shop to get a new
pet. The store clerk offered her lots of different options but she
refused all of them saying that she wanted something different. He
pointed to a normal looking parrot in the corner of the store. 
"Ya right!" 

"It's a special bird. It's called the chomp-chomp bird." 

"What is so special about that?" 

"Tell it to chomp chomp anything and it will eat it!" 

"Let me try it. Chomp chomp desk." 
CHOMP! CHOMP! The bird ate the desk! 

The woman proceaded to buy it for two hundred dollors.

When she got home she took it to her husband's office 
and said, "Chomp comp desk!" 

CHOMP! CHOMP! The bird ate the desk. 

When her husband came home he saw the bird and said, 
"You and your pets. When one dies you have to get a new one!" 

He went to his office and saw his desk missing.
He called for his wife and asked, "Where is my desk?" 

"The Chomp Chomp bird ate it." 

She was holding the bird and her husband yelled, 
"Chompchomp bird my ass!" 
CHOMP! CHOMP!



IN THE BEGINNING...........God said, " Adam, I want you to do 
something for me."

Adam said, " Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?

God said, " Go down into that valley."

Adam said, " What' s a valley?"

God explained it to him.

Then God said, " Cross the river."

Adam said, " What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, " Go over to the
   hill......."

Adam said, " What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, " On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"

Adam said, " What's a cave?"

After God explained, he said, " In the cave you will find a Woman."

Adam said, " What's a woman?"

So God explained that to him, too.

Then, God said, " I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, " How do I do that?"

God first said (under his breath), " Geez....."

And then, just like everything else,God explained 
that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill,
into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, 
"What is it now?"

And Adam said, " What's a headache?"



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter



Making a speech against the proliferation of X-rated 
videocassettes, the mayoral candidate said, "I rented one of 
these cassettes and was shocked to find by my count five 
acts of oral sex, three of sodomy, a transexual making 
love with a dog, and a woman accommodating five men 
at once. If elected, I vow that tapes such as these will no 
longer befoul our fair community." 

He concluded the fiery denunciation by asking, . . . . . .
"Are there any questions?"

Five people shouted in unison, "Where'd you rent the tape?"



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Blueberry Tarts
 

Ingredients:
1/4 cup flour for your work surface
1  8 ounce sheet frozen puff pastry, 
thawed (or buy it unfrozen)
1  large egg, beaten
1  tablespoon  granulated sugar
4  ounces  cream cheese, softened
1/4  cup cream
1/2  teaspoon grated lemon zest
3  tablespoons powdered sugar
2  cups blueberries

Directions:
Heat oven to 375° F.
On a lightly floured surface, unfold the sheet of pastry 
and roll it into a 10 by 12-inch rectangle. Transfer to 
a parchment lined baking sheet.
Using the tip of a knife, score a 1-inch border around 
the pastry without cutting all the way through. Brush 
the border with the egg and sprinkle with the granulated 
sugar. Bake until golden and puffed: 18 to 22 minutes.
Using the tip of a knife, rescore the border of the cooked 
pastry without cutting all the way through. 
Gently press down on the center of the pastry sheet to 
flatten it. Let cool to room temperature about 15 to 20 minutes.
While pastry is cooling, use an electric mixer to beat the 
cream cheese until smooth. Add the cream, lemon zest, 
and 2 tablespoons of the powdered sugar and beat until 
smooth. Spread the cream cheese mixture evenly within 
the borders of the pastry.
Arrange the blueberries in a single layer over the filling 
and top it by sprinkling with the remaining tablespoon of 
powdered sugar.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna











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Since 1/1/11

             Countries

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, June 10

It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in 
nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought.
--- John Kenneth Galbraith

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew.
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his mother used to do.



An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist
she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.  The
receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time
for the spinster to come into the office.

The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I
rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out.  Would it be possible for
the lawyer to come to my house?"

The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the
spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.  The
lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in
assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"

She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have
$40,000 in my savings account at the bank."

"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be
distributed?"

The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life,
people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I
pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."

The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a
funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting
impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell
me," he continued, "what would you like to do with the remaining
$5,000?"

The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone
almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man.  Before
I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with
me."

"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see
what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."  That evening, the
lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her
weird request.  After thinking about how much she could do around the
house with $5,000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to
agree to provide the service himself.

She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car
until you're finished." The next morning, she drove him to the
spinster's house and waited while he went into the house.  She waited
for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car
horn.

Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head
out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow!  She's going to let the County
bury her!"



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These two guys are carpooling home from work one day. 
Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit 
bored.

So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points 
at two dogs having sex on someone's front lawn.

"Look," he shouts "What are the those dogs doing? 
Are they fighting?"

The passenger, being a man of the world, replies
 "They are having sex. Don't tell me that you have never 
had sex doggie style before?".

The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has 
never had sex doggie style.

So the passenger says "You have to try it. It's pretty 
cool. Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, 
fix your wife a margarita and then suggest that you 
want to try this new sexual position."

The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will 
give it a try.

So the next morning, the two commuters are back 
in the car and the passenger asks "Well. How did it go?"

To which the driver replies "It was great. But it took me 
6 Margaritas just to get her on the front lawn.!!!"



Lingo For Women
 
The Franklin Factor:
Early to bed and early to rise means it's time 
to meet more guys.
 
The Rat Race:
If there's one rat in a room full of nice men, he'll hit on you first.
 
The Eyeglass Prescription:
Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, 
and he will too.
 
The Ring Rule:
A watched telephone never rings.
 
The Creep Call:
Never pick up the phone on Saturday night. It's a call from 
a creep you told you were busy.
 
The Fishing Forecast:
They say there are lots of good fish in the sea. 
But who wants to go out with a fish?
 
The Psychological Prognosis:
Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage.
 
The Rope Trick:
Give a man enough rope and he'll lasso another woman.
 
Mind Over Matter:
No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party.
 
The Fault Finder:
The faster way to discover all your bad habits is 
to move in with your lover.
 
The Unintended Result:
1) Men's desire for sex sometimes results in intimacy;
1a) Men often go looking for sex and end up finding love;
 
2) Women's desire for intimacy often results in sex;
2a) Women often go looking for love and 
end up finding only sex.
 
The Rabbit Rule:
Only newlyweds and liars make love every day.
 
The Dangle Doctrine:
You can't keep a good man down.
 
Twain's Truth:
Familiarity breeds children.
 
The Fertility Factor:
Women are only fertile a few days each month, 
unless they're single.
 
The Preparation Predicament:
The longer you spend in the bathroom preparing for sex, 
the more likely he's fallen asleep by the time you're ready.



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



Two hunters were in a lodge, making small talk.
One of them asked the other, "So, what do you hunt?"

He answered, "I hunt unicorns."

The first hunter was startled, but said,
"Really? How do you do that?"

The other answered "I find a virgin and hire her to help me. 
The virgin sits around in the woods until a unicorn comes 
to her. When it does, it sets off a snare." 

The first hunter said, "Boy, they must be hard to
find. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one." 

The second hunter said "Yeah, and there aren't 
many unicorns around anymore, either!"



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Carrot with Pineapple Smoothie
 
This recipe serves one person.

Ingredients:
3/4 cup chopped fresh pineapple 
1/2 cup  ice 
1/3 cup orange juice 
1/4 cup chopped carrot 
1/2 banana

Directions:
Place the pineapple, ice, orange juice, carrot, and banana
 in a blender.  
Pulse on high, until smooth and frothy.  Enjoy!

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna











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Since 1/1/11

             Countries

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, June 9

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


The little girl is just chattering on to the dozen or so other
people on the elevator about what a GREAT time she had
on the Disney Cruise ship.  There was this to do and there
was that to do.  Everyone is smiling at her.  Mom kind of
shrugs and says, "We went on the cruise a year ago and
she's *still* talking about it."

The little girl said, "Even mom and dad had a great time on
the ship!"  To the utter embarrassment of mom, the little girl
nods her head to the baby and says, "Mom calls the baby,
'Our little Souvenir'."



Does anyone find it amazing that our government can track 
a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the 
stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington.  Also 
they track her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 27 million illegal aliens 
wandering around our country.

Look for the ACLU (American COW Liberty Union) 
to change all that real soon.

Cows have rights too, ya know!



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Thanks to Mom for this picture:


Click through the picture for full size
Hydranga


 


Addressing the Catholic school class, the nun asked,
"Is it wrong to have sex before you're married?"

Promiscuous Mary piped up, "Only if you're late for
the ceremony, or if the ceremony is late."



This guy is about to jump off a bridge, when all of a sudden, 
behind him he hears "Don't jump! Don't jump!" 

He looks around and there is an ugly-ugly old broad.

She says "Don't jump. I am a witch and I can grant you 
any three wishes you want."

He starts to think about money and cars, and says 
"What's the catch?"

"You have to sleep with me first," says the old broad.

He looks at the ugly hag but finally agrees. They go to 
her place and WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM!

He then says "For my first wish..."

She interrupts him and says, "You got to SLEEP with me.
I gave you the sex as a freebie."

Well, he is kind of tired out anyway, so he snuggles up.
The next morning he starts again, "For my first wish..."

She again interrupts him: "How old are you?"

He answers "Forty-two."

And she asks "And you still believe in witches?"



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



Three hookers were comparing notes about their customers 
from the night before. 
"I entertained a cowboy last night", said the first. 

"How did you know he was a cowboy?" asked the second. 
"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both 
the hat and the boots on all the time we were together." 

"Sounds like a cowboy, all right," the others agree.

"I entertained a lawyer," announced the second.  
"I could tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed 
a briefcase.  He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the 
briefcase all the time." 

They all agreed he sounded like a lawyer. 
"I had a grain farmer for a client," commented the third.

"How could you possibly know he was a grain farmer?" 
one asked. "First he complained it was too dry, 
then he whined it was too wet, then he
asked if he could pay me in the fall."



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Five Bean Salad DORM STYLE
 
Ingredients:
Half Gallon jar of 5 Bean Salad from Costco for $5.95
There is no way you can make it yourself for less,
even if you grow the beans yourself.

Directions:
Best served ice cold.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna











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Since 1/1/11

             Countries

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, June 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



It is rather sad how a lot of people got conned by the Communists
into believing, that Walker (Wisconsin) was against TRADE unions.
DUH!
He is against the NO-TRADE government employees unions holding
the state for ransom with their ridiculous demands.

The Democrats in that state have for too long shuffled the 
unemployed and unemployables into Government jobs, just to
make the unemployment stats look better. Naturally, that leads 
to Empire Building, and before you know it, the make-work
project deskwarmers are taking themselves too serious and
are becoming a nuisance, that hurts the economy and chases
companies away. 

Theoretically, the Government workers are supposed to administer 
to the needs of the tax payers, not the other way around. 
When Government workers hide behind a strong union and
hold the state for ransom, demanding that the tax payers and 
voters dance to their fiddle, then it is time to reset the system
back towards common sense.

Luckily the majority of the voters in Wisconsin saw the necessity 
of that, and voted for Walker.

And NO, Roland. It is NOT going to affect the TRADE unions,
except that now the desk warmers can't go on strike to demand
higher pay than skilled machinists and mechanics and 
electricians. 

Defeating the desk warmer unions was a victory for the
TRADE Unions, even though the commies did not want
you to realize that.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


"A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 
183 buffalo wings. I don't think there will be a second date." 
--- David Letterman



The only cow in a small town in Manitoba, Canada, stopped 
giving milk. The people did some research and found they 
could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They 
bought the cow from Saskatchewan and the cow was wonderful. 
It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people 
were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and 
produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry 
about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their 
beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the 
cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the 
bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he 
could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the local 
veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told 
the vet what was happening. 

"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" 
they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves 
forward. When he approaches her from the front, she 
backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away 
to the other side."

The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute and asks, 
"Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never 
mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a 
wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow 
in Saskatchewan?"

The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, 
"My wife is from Saskatchewan.
Give her a bucket full of beer, and she will cooperate."



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He said ... . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the board
and iron, and I sit on the sofa and fart.



Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in 
demand. 

Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up 
straight. 



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat
down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,
"Going to a party ?" 

"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life." 

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." Protested the barkeep. 

"That's right... My last four scores were seven years ago." 



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Three Bean Salad
 
Ingredients:
1  15 ounce can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1  15 ounce can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1  15 ounce can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
2  celery stalks, finely chopped
1/2  red onion, finely chopped
1  cup  fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves, finely chopped 
(or three tablespoons dried parsely)
3  tablespoons  fresh lemon juice
1/4  cup  olive oil
1  teaspoon salt
1/4  teaspoon pepper

Directions:
In a large bowl, combine the cannellini beans, chickpeas, 
kidney beans, celery, onion, parsley, and rosemary.
In a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, oil, salt, 
and pepper, which makes Vinaigrette Dressing.
Slowly add the Vinaigrette Dressing to the salad and toss.
Best served at room temperature.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna











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             Countries

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 7

The left wing media comments of Wisconsin sure were funny.
"End of Democracy!" 
Awwww, the majority ganging up on on the poor communists?
Isn't majority votes what democracy is all about? 
Ohh only when people vote for Democrats? 

Novel concept, but not all of us have fried their brains by 
staying in college too long or by sitting through too many 
Union meetings.

"Capitalism defeats entitlement!"
Sounds like dad telling his 40 year old son to go get a job.

"Employers outspent employees!"
BS.
The left’s “outspent” argument is ridiculous. Unions take money 
by force from members, hire hundreds of political operatives and 
give them huge salaries to work on campaigns, then call them 
“volunteers” so their work isn’t reported as a campaign contribution.
And what about all the Government workers calling thousands of
people, pestering them to vote against Free Enterprise, 
on Government phones and on Government time, of course?

By the way, Walker only clipped the "Entitlement" of the Government
workers, and did absolutely nothing against workers in Industry.
Yeah, I know, the Communists did not want you to know about
that little inconvenient fact.

Well, the election is over, Employers and job creators won.
Government Workers Unions lost.
Optimism is radiating out from Wisconsin.
And the whole world is watching.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


During the National Spelling Bee recently in the nation's capital,
Islamic spectators became outraged upon discovering that the USA was
embedded in the middle of Jerusalem, Israel's holiest city. The
revelation was made by Douglas Levin, an eighth grader at the Joseph
Lieberman Day School in Rockville Center, MD. When young Levin was asked
to spell the word Jerusalem, he replied, "J  E R- USA - L  E M."

An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who realized, for the
first time, a USA presence in the holy city. Muslim parents immediately
protested the spelling contest, citing American bias toward Israel.

"It's a clear violation of church and state," said Mohammed Ahlee,
lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite.

Bee officials quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that
the Muslims were merely disgruntled because Rajeed Raheed,
a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High, had been eliminated earlier
for misspelling Afghanistan as Afghanustan.

"There is no 'A-N-U-S' in the middle of Afghanistan," said one bee
official, "and if you are referring to members of Al Quaeda, you
would have to use the plural of the word."



CORPORATE STRUCTURE

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
   Leaps tall building in a single bound
   Is more powerful than a locomotive
   Is faster than a speeding bullet
   Walks on water
   Discusses policy with God

PRESIDENT:
   Leaps short buildings in a single bound
   Is more powerful than a switch engine
   Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
   Walks on water if the sea is calm
   Talks with God

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
   Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
   Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
   Is faster than a speeding BB.
   Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
   Talks with God if special request is approved

VICE PRESIDENT:
   Barely clears a Quonset hut
   Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
   Can fire a speeding bullet
   Swims well
   Is occasionally addressed by God

GENERAL MANAGER:
   Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
   Is run over by locomotive
   Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
   Dog paddles
   Talks to animals

MANAGER:
   Runs into buildings
   Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
   Is not issued ammunition
   Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
   Talks to walls

TRAINEE:
   Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
   Says "look at the choo-choo"
   Wets him/herself with a water pistol
   Plays in mud puddles
   Mumbles to him/herself

SECRETARY:
   Moves buildings out of the way
   Kicks locomotives off the tracks
   Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
   Freezes water with a single glance
   Briefs God on what to tell the Chairman



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This is *supposedly* a true story. It occurred on a Melbourne
Australia radio show. One of the FM stations has a competition
where they phone someone up, ask them three personal questions,
phone their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions,
if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali.

Last week the competition went like this:
Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?
Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ohhh, maaaate. Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?
Brian: Orrrrr .... about 10 minutes.
Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it mate?
Brian: Ohhhh maaaaate, I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table.
Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one
Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, alright.

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.
Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the
other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi Brian.
Brian: Hi Sharelle.
Presenter:: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three
questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you
win a trip for two to Bali.
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.
Sharelle: O.K.
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to
work.
Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go
for Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co- Presenter: That's close enough ...Brian was just being a
gentleman.
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No
way, no.
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter
anyway... just tell em.
Sharelle: Ohhhh .....alright .....Up the ass!

  RADIO SILENCE

Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live
here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and
Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.



According to a new article in 'Cosmopolitan' magazine,
they say the position you sleep in says a lot about you. 

They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, 
women who sleep on their stomachs are competent, 
and women who sleep on their  backs with their heels 
behind their ears are very popular.



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to
pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby is a pretty
hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's
father answers and invites him in.

"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you
have a seat?", he says.

"That's cool." says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are
planning to do.

Bobby replies politely that they will probably
just go to the malt shop  or to the drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father responds "Why don't you kids
go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it."

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby
and he says, "Whaaaat?"

"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's father, "Peggy Sue really
likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"

Bobby's eyes light up and smiles from ear to ear.
Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs
in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and
announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts
his date out the front door while dad is saying "Have
a good evening kids," with a wink for Bobby.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled
Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the
door behind her and screams at her father:
"DAMMIT DADDY! THE TWIST!!! 
IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!
AND NOW I AM PREGNANT!"



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Cream of Broccoli Soup 
 
Ingredients:
2 heads broccoli (about 2 pounds)
1 tbsp butter
1 clove garlic, minced (or use 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder)
1 quart chicken or vegetable stock
1/3 cup heavy cream
white pepper to taste
salt to taste

Directions:
Cut the tops, florettes, off the broccoli and set aside. 
Cut the broccoli stems into 1/2-inch slices, and add 
to the tops. In a soup pot, melt the butter over medium 
heat; when it begins to foam add the garlic 
(or garlic powder) and cook for 30 seconds. 

Add the chicken or vegetable stock and broccoli
and bring to a simmer. Cook until the broccoli is 
fork-tender.

When the broccoli is ready, remove from heat 
and mix well by a hand whip, hand mixer or in a 
regular blender. Pour back into the pot.
Add the cream and cook on low until heated 
through. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna





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