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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, April 20 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!Tomorrow's newsletter will most likely be missing. DearWebby will get injections into both eyes in the morning, and the way they dilate his eyes, he probably won't be able to see anything smaller than his coffee mug. So I won't be sending my newsletter to him for sending out. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
The newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. "Guess what I got planned for dinner?" she asked seductively. "And don't you dare tell me you had that for lunch today!"
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna DORM style chocolate cheesecake The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, April 19 On Wednesday Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard stood up for her continent again. "Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks. Separately, Gillard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying she supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture." It would be nice if our politicians had half as much courage and integrity as that Lady! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
From Ed: When the guys laugh at me for volunteering at the women's mental health clinic I just shrug it off. But when they tell me I'm fucking nuts, I have to smile, because then I know they understand.
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Chocolate Chunk Cheesecake The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, April 18Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York. She had just finished showering to dress for dinner and noticed that she had neglected to pack her bras. She asked her husband to go down to the dress shop in the lobby and pick up a couple of 36-C bras. He said, "Ah'l go down raht now." So he put on his ten gallon hat and went to the shop. The saleslady said, "May I help you sir?" When he told her that he wanted two 36-C bras, she asked, "Would you like two Playtex?" He answered, "Ah'd luv ta little lady, but mah wife's a'waitin fur me up in the room."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Risi Bisi DORM Style The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
The British media seems to be a bit disenchanted
with Prince Charles!
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, April 16 Brent asked how the Taliban get all that ammo. Well, look at all the nice freeways, that the US built from Pakistan to Afghanistan, so that local truckers can haul 150 or more semis a day of ammo and weapons and MRE's, and don't forget the tons of paper required by a modern army! Plus the fuel for all the jets and helicopters! Those semis don't go back empty. They haul opium and heroin. And when there is nothing to haul in for the military, then they haul ammo for Al Quaeda or the Taliban. Interfering with the Pakistani truckers gets Pakistan into a snit, and also the Afghanistani border people, who have come to depend on the bribes. Since the Taliban rarely hit what they shoot at, nobody makes a big fuss about it. They probably know, though, what they would have to do to put a stop to all that shooting. Not yet, though. The current Supreme Commander is concerned that would upset the Muslims in Pakistan and Afghanistan too much, and after all, they have priority. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Tom took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, Tom said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. But regardless of how you said it, I accept!"
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Vegetables and rice The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Lawrence Deptola, the bonehead, who tried to rob three banks
with a toilet plunger!
Details are in the Dear Webby Humor Letter.
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, April 16 After "18 hours of intense gun battles" in Kabul, 14 police and 11 civilians were woulded, and one insurgent was killed. A local resident,who had trouble sleeping with all that racket going on, estimated that between two and thre Million rounds of ammo had been shot off during that time. Considering that they use up an average of 5,000 rounds for shooting at the moon at a wedding, that's not bad. United Ammo Workers Union sure would be upset if peace broke out in Afghanistan! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute." Marie snapped. "You're just saying that to make me jealous."
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Subscribe a friend to Ophelia Dingbatter's News! (They will receive a confirmation request) |
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Barbequed Chicken The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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