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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, February 15 Some of the local road side attractions Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna PUMPKIN APPLE STREUSEL BREAD Ingredients 2 1/2 cup flour 1 cup white sugar 1 cup brown sugar 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice (or substitute with 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/8 teaspoon ginger, 1/8 teaspoon allspice) 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 eggs 1 can pumpkin 1/2 cup vegetable oil 2 cup peeled and chopped apples 2 tablespoon flour 1/3 cup brown sugar 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 4 teaspoon butter Streusel Topping: In small bowl combine the last 4 ingredients, until mixture is crumbly. Directions:In large bowl combine first 6 ingredients; set aside. In medium bowl, combine eggs, pumpkin and oil. Add these three ingredients to dry ingredients; stir just until moistened. Stir in apples. Spoon batter into 2 loaf pans, greased. Sprinkle Streusel Topping over batter. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 40 to 45 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna PLEASE Let me know if you like the new recipe section!
Look Ma! No Hands!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, February 14 Happy Valentines Day! Look what Dear Webby made: I Love You in all languages is at http://webby.com/iloveyou.html For not so sweet valentines cards, go to http://dawna.com/p11v.html Instead of Cupid, you will see Cupig and rhymes like "Roses are red, violets are blue. If you eat slop, I will too." Plus a few clean ones, that won't back-fire on you. Enjoy! Ophelia
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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try the newsletter of my friend and coach, Dear Webby Dear Webby's Humor Letter |
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A couple, both 62, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it. When the couple finished, the doctor re-examined them and upon completion he advised the couple, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He then charged them $32. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no apparent problems, get dressed, pay the doctor, and then leave. Finally after almost two months of this routine, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "Oh, we're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married, so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $160. The Hilton charges $178. So, we do it here for $32 and I get $28 back from Medicaid.
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna MICROWAVE: SUGAR - FREE APPLE SPICE CAKE 1 1/4 c. applesauce (unsweetened) 1/4 cup butter or Crisco 1/2 teaspoon apple pie spice 1 cup apples (stew until soft) 1/4 cup raisins 1 heaping cup whole wheat flour 1 heaping cup white flour 1/2 teaspoon allspice 2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 eggs 3/4 cup chopped nuts 3/4 cup chopped fresh apples (optional) 1/4 cup applesauce (unsweetened) Combine applesauce, butter, apple pie spice, apples, and raisins in small microwave bowl. Microwave 3 minutes on high. Remove and cool to room temperature. Stir flours, soda, allspice, and salt together until well blended. Add eggs to cooled applesauce mixture. Add mixture to dry ingredients. Beat at medium speed for 2 minutes. Add nuts and fresh apples and mix only until blended. Using a lightly greased microwave bundt pan, place 1/2 the batter in pan; add 1/4 cup applesauce evenly around. Place rest of batter on top. Microwave on merry-go-round at 1/2 power for 10 minutes and full power for 6 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes in pan on rack. Remove from pan. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna PLEASE Let me know if you like the new recipe section!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, February 13 The promised sun didn't come out, but at least it did not snow. The Greeks just don't get it. They are rioting and protesting against "austerity measures", that would bring them in line with other countries.They believe that the 32 hour work week and pension at 50, that they have earned in strikes and tough negotiations, are eternal rights, that they don't want to give up. They know that the promised 150,000 Government lay-offs by 2015 are an empty joke. 2015 is way too far in the future, and won't make any difference now. Might as well say "AFTER the next ice age". I can understand, that the Greeks are angry at the international banks, that charge them almost as much interest as MasterCard and VISA charge me, but rioting is not going to help them one bit. The newest ploy by the foreign banks, to put any new loans to Greece into an escrow account, which is to be used strictly just for paying off debts, and not to be touched by the Greek government, makes sense to me, but really makes the Greeks hot and bothered. It makes them feel like they are treated like irresponsible kids, that are grounded for the entire foreseeable future. Well, they ARE grounded. Until they lower the wages and corporate taxes, nobody is going to invest in new business in Greece. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Zuchini Casserole ZUCCHINI CASSEROLE Use any zucchini or green squash. Ingredients: 1 lb. zucchini (approximately 2 medium) 1 Tablespoon olive oil {I prefer raw, first press olive oil, because it is healthier.} 1/3 cup chopped onion (about 1/2 of a medium onion) 3 garlic cloves (or 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder) 3/4 pound tomatoes (fresh or canned) 1 teaspoon Italian herbs or oregano Salt and pepper 1 cup Italian cheese (Mozzarella, Parmesan, Provolone) Directions: Heat oven to 400° F. 1) Heat the olive oil in a medium saucepan. Sauté the onion in the oil for 2 to 3 minutes, then add the garlic and cook for another 30 to 60 seconds, until the garlic is fragrant. Cut tomatoes in 3 to 5 pieces, and add in with the herbs and spices. 2) Cook over medium heat until the liquid is mostly gone (but not dry), stirring occasionally {It should end up being about a cup. This should take about 5 to 10 minutes. 3) Meanwhile, cut the zucchini into slices approximately ¼ inch thick. Take the largest slices and line or grease the bottom of a 9 X 9" or 8 X 8" pan. 4) Spread about ¼ of the tomato mixture on the zucchini (spread well, but it will not spead evenly, Add the ¼ cup of the cheese. 5) Continue layering. It should come out to four layers, but if it only makes three, just try to divide things relatively evenly. Don't put the final layer of cheese on yet. 6) Bake for 20 minutes. Top with the rest of the cheese, and lower the temperature to 375 F. Bake for about 20 more minutes, or until cheese is golden brown. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna PLEASE Let me know if you like the new recipe section!
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Since July 1, 2011,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, February 12 It is supposed to warm up to +4 in the afternoon, and no snow falling until after dark. Hopefully I can sneak away for a bit and enjoy a walk in the sunshine. Enjoy! Ophelia
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I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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A man lies sprawled across three seats in a theater. When the usher comes by and sees the man, he whispers to him, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groans but doesn't budge. The usher becomes impatient. "Sir," he says, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groans, which infuriates the usher. He turns and marches briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager return and stand over the man. Together the two of them try repeatedly to get him off the seats, but with no success. Finally, they call the police. The policeman looks the man over, then says, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Joe," the man moans. "Where ya from, Joe?" the cop asks. "The balcony."
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
try the newsletter of my friend and coach, Dear Webby Dear Webby's Humor Letter |
This guy is in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please." A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-tellers tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children." "That's what you think", said the man scornfully. I'm the father of THREE children." The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think!"
One day a man came home from work earlier than usual and caught his wife in bed with his best friend. Enraged, the husband grabbed a gun and shot his friend to death. His wife said, "Ya'know, if you go on like this, you're going to lose every one of your friends."
A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a lovely young thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her and said, "Honey, before you leave, please let me explain." The wife stopped to listen. He continued, "I was driving along the highway, and I saw this young girl looking very tired and bedraggled, so I offered her a lift. She was also hungry, so I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef in the refrigerator which you didn't like. She was wearing some very worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of your shoes which you'd discarded simply because they were out of style a few years ago.. She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I bought you for your birthday, the one you never wore because the colors didn't suit you. Her slacks were torn, so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but much too small for you now." The wife seemed to have no problem with any of this, but still needed just one question to be answered. "That's all fine and good," she said, "but why did I find you both in our bed with no clothes on?" The husband replied, "Well, that's simple... see, as she was about to leave the house, she turned to me and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Impossible Pie, Dorm Version Because of very positive feedback on the low budget (Dorm) version recipes, I'll try to have those alternatives a day after the regular ones. Ingredients: 4 handfuls Instant Mashed Potatoes 1 can chunky stew 2 eggs 2 heaped tsp butter salt, pepper, sage, dried parsley flakes Clean the big electric frying pan / casserole extremely well, let it dry and check for spots, that are not perfectly clean. When it is perfect, heat it up and spray some olive oil into it with a Windex pistol grip type sprayer, and rub the oil around with a bit of paper towel. It is important, that the pan is very hot for this, so that the microsopic pores are larger, than during cooking. Filling those pores with oilive oil is the secret to non-stick. When the pan is "seasoned", turn down the heat and dump the can of stew into it. Put a cup of water and the spices into a large (quart size) empty yoghurt container and heat it to boiling in the microwave. Stir in the eggs and swirl them fairly well. Stir in the mashed potatoes. Depending on the size of your hand, you may need a bit more or a bit less of the potatoes. You can also add more hot water. Leftover soup can also be used. When the potatoes are smooth and firm, spoon them gently on top of the stew. Don't stir them in! Cover the frying pan or casserole with the metal lid, and cover the lid with fire-proof oven mitts. That won't quite brown the top, but it will firm the crust quite nicely. Bake it at moderate heat for 15-20 minutes, then let it cool down to eating temperature for 5 minutes. Like most "Dorm" style meals, this one too can be eaten right out of the pan to reduce the need to haul a bunch of dishes to the shower. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna PLEASE Let me know if you like the new recipe section!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, February 10 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!Remember "No child left behind", the legislation, that was to encourage states to bring the educational results up to about half way to where Slobovistan's are? If they failed, they did not get extra free money. Now, here come the WAIVERS. If a state brown-noses Washington sufficiently, then they get a waiver, so that they get the bonuses, even if their kids have not met the criteria. Don't expect industry and commerce to be happy about that! It was industry and commerce that demanded, that graduates know how to read at least the warning signs on machinery. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A new, inexperienced waitress said she was concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them. A co-worker explained that there were tray stands placed throughout the restaurant. The nervous beginner served all her lunches successfully and afterward asked an elderly couple if everything had been all right. "It was fine, dear," replied the man, "but my wife and I have to leave now. Could she please have her walker back?"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna BISQUICK© IMPOSSIBLE PIE Ingredients: Base (Large): 2 cups milk 1 cup biscuit mix 4 eggs salt and pepper Fillings: Approx. 1/2 to 1 cup chopped cooked, drained very well meat, more or less Approx. 3/4 to 1 cup shredded cheese, more or less Approx. 3/4 to 1 cup chopped cooked or raw vegetables, more or less Directions: Use a regular 10-in or larger quiche pan or pie plate for this large recipe. Heat oven to 400º Grease pan or pie plate. Sprinkle filling ingredients (meat and/or vegetables and cheese) into pie plate. Beat base ingredients until smooth, 15-30 seconds in a blender, or 1 minute on high with a hand beater, or 2 minutes by hand. Pour into plate. Bake approx. 25-35 minutes, until knife inserted in center comes out clean and top is golden brown. Cool 5 minutes. *~*~*~*~* Variation, instead of ingredients above use: Crumbled (cooked and well drained) Hamburger, Cheddar, Green Chile (The Burger Pie) Happy Appetite! Sr Anna PLEASE Let me know if you like the new recipe section!
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi- ... D=23572271
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
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