Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, February 12

It is supposed to warm up to +4 in the afternoon, and no 
snow falling until after dark. Hopefully I can sneak away 
for a bit and enjoy a walk in the sunshine.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and
challenges,but eventually,
after a lot of searching and trials and tribulations,
you might find a hairstylist you like.



I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated and
jumped up and down for an hour. 
But, by the time I got my leotards on, 
the class was over.



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A man lies sprawled across three seats in a theater. When the
usher comes by and sees the man, he whispers to him,

"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groans but doesn't budge.
The usher becomes impatient. "Sir," he says, "if you don't get up
from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groans, which infuriates the usher. He turns
and marches briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager return and stand
over the man. Together the two of them try repeatedly to get him
off the seats, but with no success. Finally, they call the
police.

The policeman looks the man over, then says,

"All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Joe," the man moans.

"Where ya from, Joe?" the cop asks.

"The balcony."



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Dear Webby's Humor Letter



This guy is in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts,
"Ballroom please."
A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm
sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."



A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened 
to see a fortune-tellers tent. Thinking it would be good 
for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. 

"Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. 
"I see you are the father of two children." 

"That's what you think", said the man scornfully. I'm the 
father of THREE children." 

The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think!"



One day a man came home from work earlier than usual and caught
his wife in bed with his best friend.  Enraged, the husband
grabbed a gun and shot his friend to death.

His wife said, "Ya'know, if you go on like this, you're going to
lose every one of your friends."



A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified
to find her husband in bed naked, with a lovely young thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband
stopped her and said, "Honey, before you leave, please let me explain."
The wife stopped to listen. He continued, "I was driving along
the highway, and I saw this young girl looking very tired and
bedraggled, so I offered her a lift. She was also hungry, so
I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef in
the refrigerator which you didn't like. 

She was wearing some very worn sandals, so I gave her a pair 
of your shoes which you'd discarded simply because they were 
out of style a few years ago.. 

She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I bought you for 
your birthday, the one you never wore because the colors 
didn't suit you.

Her slacks were torn, so I gave her a pair of yours that were
perfectly good, but much too small for you now."

The wife seemed to have no problem with any of this, but still
needed just one question to be answered. "That's all fine and
good," she said, "but why did I find you both in our bed with
no clothes on?"

The husband replied, "Well, that's simple... see, as she was
about to leave the house, she turned to me and asked, 
"Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?"




RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Impossible Pie, Dorm Version
 
Because of very positive feedback on the low budget (Dorm)
version recipes, I'll try to have those alternatives a day after
the regular ones.

Ingredients:
4 handfuls Instant Mashed Potatoes
1 can chunky stew
2 eggs
2 heaped tsp butter
salt, pepper, sage, 
dried parsley flakes

Clean the big electric frying pan / casserole extremely well,
let it dry and check for spots, that are not perfectly clean.
When it is perfect, heat it up and spray some olive oil into
it with a Windex pistol grip type sprayer, and rub the oil 
around with a bit of paper towel.
It is important, that the pan is very hot for this, so that the
microsopic pores are larger, than during cooking. 
Filling those pores with oilive oil is the secret to non-stick.

When the pan is "seasoned", turn down the heat 
and dump the can of stew into it.

Put a cup of water and the spices into a large (quart size) 
empty yoghurt container and heat it to boiling in the 
microwave. Stir in the eggs and swirl them fairly well.

Stir in the mashed potatoes. Depending on the size 
of your hand, you may need a bit more or a bit less 
of the potatoes. You can also add more hot 
water. Leftover soup can also be used.

When the potatoes are smooth and firm, spoon them
gently on top of the stew. Don't stir them in!

Cover the frying pan or casserole with the metal lid,
and cover the lid with fire-proof oven mitts. That won't
quite brown the top, but it will firm the crust quite nicely.

Bake it at moderate heat for 15-20 minutes, then let
it cool down to eating temperature for 5 minutes.

Like most "Dorm" style meals, this one too can be eaten
right out of the pan to reduce the need to haul a bunch
of dishes to the shower.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna


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Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, February 9

It looks like the "glorious" defeat of Gadhafi by the
air forces of Britain, France, Italy, Saudi Arabia and the 
mighty US, did not do any favors for the locals there.
Not having the world media badmouthing Gadhafi and
making up stories and blaming him for everything, is no
help either. 

The power of the current government there does not extend
beyond their fancy offices, and the militias are destroying
the country, not each other. 

The big problem now is that toothpaste is very difficult
to squish back into a tube, and to get all the countless
militias to lay down their arms and go back to work 
is going to be just as difficult. And there is no way the
missiles and jets and drones and artillery of NATO
are going to make that happen. It was fun and profit to
defeat bad-ass Gadhafi, but it did not bring Libya closer
to civilization. 

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


A high school teacher arrived late for class to find a
most uncomplimentary drawing of herself on the
blackboard. Fuming, she asked the class, "Who is
responsible for this atrocity?"

The class clown won tremendous prestige among his
peers by answering,
"I don't know for sure, 
but it's probably something hereditary."



Joe took his blind date to the carnival.  He said, "What would you like
to do first, Kim?" "I want to get weighed," she replied.  They ambled
over to the weight guesser.  He guessed 120 pounds.  She got on the
scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, they went on the Ferris Wheel.  When the ride was over, Joe asked
again what she wanted to do.  "I want to get weighed," she said.

They went back to the weight guesser and having been there before, he
correctly guessed her weight and Joe lost his dollar.

Joe asked where to next and Kim said, "I want to get weighed." Joe
figured she must be weird so he took her home early and dropped her off
with a handshake at the door.

Kim's roomate Laura asked about the date.  "How'd it go?"

Kim said, "Oh Waura, it was wousy!"



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At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and
yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is
up." 

Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return. "Boat number
99," he again hollered, "return to the dock immediately or I'll have to
charge you overtime." 

"Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. 
"We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99." 

The manager thought for a moment and then raised 
his megaphone: "Boat number 66," he
yelled. "Are you having trouble out there?"



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby


Dear Webby's Humor Letter



A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you." 

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. 
"Tell me some good news for once." 

"All right, here's some good news," said the secretary. 
"You're not sterile."



Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see
two dogs goin' at it on a lawn. One guy, who's married,
looks at the other and says, "Jeez, I'd give anything to
do it to my wife like that." 

The other, a single guy, says, "Heck, that's easy. 
Just feed her three martinis."

The same two guys are riding the bus to work the next
morning. The single one asks the other, "Well, did you
get to do it to your wife doggie style?" 

The married guy r eplies, 
"Yes, but it took SIX martinis."

The single guy exclaims, "SIX martinis! How come so
many?"

The husband replies, "Hell, it took three just to get her
out on the lawn."



Walt lived in a block of flats which had a large, dark cellar. His
four-year-old daughter Samantha and other kids who lived in the block
liked playing down there, much to the worry of their parents. Finally
the parents had a meeting and decided that they would all speak to their
children, warning them of the dangers of playing down in the cellar.

A few weeks later, Walt was chatting with a neighbor and they proudly
told each other that their respective offspring had stopped playing down
in the cellar. "How did you stop your kid?" the neighbor asked.

"Well," said Walt, "I told Samantha that her mummy and I were very
worried about her playing down the cellar.  It's very dark and
dangerous. The stairs are old and steep and slippery and she could lose
her step, fall and badly hurt herself.  There's broken glass all over
the floor, and old crates that she could bump into and bruise herself. I
said  she's a grown-up little girl now and it would be irresponsible to
go playing down there.  And what did you tell your Jim?"

 The neighbor replied, "I said, Jim, if you go down that cellar one more
time, the little green goblin is going to come and cut your pecker off!"



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

LOW CARB CHICKEN BREASTS

 
Ingredients:
 
4 boneless chicken breast halves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 teaspoon olive oil
2 teaspoon butter
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley
2 teaspoon dijon mustard
1/4 cup chicken soup (about a ladle full)
3 tablespoon chopped up green onions
 
Flatten the chicken to about 1/4 inch. Season with salt and pepper. 
Brown chicken in the olive oil and butter for 3-5 minutes on each side until juices are clear. Remove from Skillet and keep warm. 
In same skillet, mix the lemon juice, parsley and mustard until blended; then whisk in broth and green onions. 
Heat throughly.  Pour over the chicken. 
 
1 carb per serving with 169 calories per serving and 6 grams fat.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna


PLEASE Let me know if you like the new recipe section!




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