Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Not past Mother's House

Thursday, January 12, 2012, 05:49 AM

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, January 12
Beautiful sunshine today, and surprisingly gentle wind.
That is rare around here. This close to the Rockies, there
is usually some wind from somewhere. I sure enjoyed 
what time I had to be outside.
Enjoy!
Ophelia







Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 
2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month)
The full version also has other goodies. 


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After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what
it used to be, the sex counselor suggested they vary their  position.
"For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her
legs, penetrate and off you go."

The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon 
as they got home.

"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First  if
it hurts, you'll stop right away and second," she insisted, "you must
promise we won't go past my mother's house."





Since 1/1/11

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Enjoy!
Ophelia

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Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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( 3.1 / 108 )

Scratch yours first?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012, 05:02 AM

Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, January 11

Dear Collon!
Is that a typo, or do you prefer that spelling?

Paying for the full subscription is easy.
If you have PayPal, hit any of the PayPal buttons on the 
newsletter, and donate $10 or more.
Instant one year subscription!

You can also send a check or money order to me via Webby.
As long as you mark on it somewhere
"For Ophelia"
Webby gives it to me in cash. 
He doesn't confiscate it like the bank does.

His postal address is
Webby
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB  T0L 0H0
Canada

The check has to be made out to Webby
and the memo line should mention me.

Looking forward to welcoming you as a full subscriber!
Enjoy!
Ophelia






Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 
2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month)
The full version also has other goodies. 


Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day?
Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!



A snooty matron caught the supermarket stock boy at an 
unguarded moment.
"Young man," she demanded icily, "Don't you know it's bad 
matters to scratch your balls before others?" 

He stammered around for a few seconds, then asked in 
bewilderment, "What am I supposed to do...
scratch yours first?"





Since 1/1/11

             Countries

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

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( 3 / 117 )

So many men!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012, 05:37 AM

Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, January 10

One more day, and my second job will be finished.
I sure am going to welcome the free time, but not the
reduced income.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


A man walked into the ladies department of a department 
store. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter 
and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look Around," said the saleslady, as she showed a
sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really
only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types. The
saleslady replied, "The Catholic type, the Salvation
Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you
need?"

Still confused the man asked "What is the difference
between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really simple."
The Catholic type supports the masses,
The Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the
Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."





Q: What's the difference between a snowblower and a
bagpipe?

A: Snowblowers can be tuned.




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Not really my problem, but I thought it was hilarious!

 


A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first
time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began
undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming
examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments
over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door
and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient
up and down carefully.

"Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me
that until today you have never had an eye examination."



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby


Dear Webby's Humor Letter



Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while 
they got to know each other so well, they decided to get 
married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other 
the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful 
in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and 
suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding at the wedding dinner, the bride broom 
leaned over and said to the groom broom "I think I am 
going to have a little whisk broom!!!"

"IMPOSSIBLE!!" said the groom broom. 
"We haven't even swept together!"



The pretty coed nervously asked the doctor to perform
an unusual operation, the removal of a large chunk of
green wax from her navel.

Looking up from the ticklish task, the physician
asked, "How did this happen?"

Let me put it this way, doc," the girl began. "My
boyfriend likes to eat by candlelight."





Since 1/1/11

             Countries

ophelia@dingbatter.com	Please help me stay online!
Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News
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( 3.1 / 111 )

Marines rescue Taliban Sex Slaves

Sunday, January 8, 2012, 04:47 AM

Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, January 8

Two more days, and my second job will be finished.
I sure am going to welcome the free time, but not the
reduced income.

Enjoy!
Ophelia






Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 
2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month)
The full version also has other goodies. 


Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day?
Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!



Little Jimmie's mother decided to tell him all about making babies, so
she had "the talk" with him.

Afterwards Little Jimmie just sat there silently for awhile.

"Do you understand?" his mother asked.

"Yes," replied Little Jimmie.

"Do you have any questions?" asked his Mother.

"Yes, how about little kittens and puppies?" asked 
Little Jimmie.

"In exactly the same way as  with babies", answered his Mom. "Wow!"
Little Jimmie exclaimed. "My daddy will fuck ANYTHING!"



Marines free taliban Sex Slaves



Since 1/1/11

             Countries

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

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| Subscribe |

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( 3.1 / 112 )

No dentist appointment

Saturday, January 7, 2012, 02:26 AM

Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, January 7

Three more days, and my second job will be finished.

Enjoy!
Ophelia






Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 
2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month)
The full version also has other goodies. 


Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day?
Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!



This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling 
real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why 
don't we get it on, eh?" 

She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist 
tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night 
before." 

So the husband agrees and rolled back over and 
started to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, 
"You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment 
tomorrow, do you?"





Since 1/1/11

             Countries