Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, June 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



It is rather sad how a lot of people got conned by the Communists
into believing, that Walker (Wisconsin) was against TRADE unions.
DUH!
He is against the NO-TRADE government employees unions holding
the state for ransom with their ridiculous demands.

The Democrats in that state have for too long shuffled the 
unemployed and unemployables into Government jobs, just to
make the unemployment stats look better. Naturally, that leads 
to Empire Building, and before you know it, the make-work
project deskwarmers are taking themselves too serious and
are becoming a nuisance, that hurts the economy and chases
companies away. 

Theoretically, the Government workers are supposed to administer 
to the needs of the tax payers, not the other way around. 
When Government workers hide behind a strong union and
hold the state for ransom, demanding that the tax payers and 
voters dance to their fiddle, then it is time to reset the system
back towards common sense.

Luckily the majority of the voters in Wisconsin saw the necessity 
of that, and voted for Walker.

And NO, Roland. It is NOT going to affect the TRADE unions,
except that now the desk warmers can't go on strike to demand
higher pay than skilled machinists and mechanics and 
electricians. 

Defeating the desk warmer unions was a victory for the
TRADE Unions, even though the commies did not want
you to realize that.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


"A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 
183 buffalo wings. I don't think there will be a second date." 
--- David Letterman



The only cow in a small town in Manitoba, Canada, stopped 
giving milk. The people did some research and found they 
could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They 
bought the cow from Saskatchewan and the cow was wonderful. 
It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people 
were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and 
produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry 
about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their 
beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the 
cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the 
bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he 
could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the local 
veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told 
the vet what was happening. 

"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" 
they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves 
forward. When he approaches her from the front, she 
backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away 
to the other side."

The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute and asks, 
"Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never 
mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a 
wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow 
in Saskatchewan?"

The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, 
"My wife is from Saskatchewan.
Give her a bucket full of beer, and she will cooperate."



Subscribe a friend to Ophelia Dingbatter's News!

(They will receive a confirmation request)





Click through the picture for full size


 


He said ... . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the board
and iron, and I sit on the sofa and fart.



Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in 
demand. 

Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up 
straight. 



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat
down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,
"Going to a party ?" 

"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life." 

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." Protested the barkeep. 

"That's right... My last four scores were seven years ago." 



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Three Bean Salad
 
Ingredients:
1  15 ounce can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1  15 ounce can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1  15 ounce can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
2  celery stalks, finely chopped
1/2  red onion, finely chopped
1  cup  fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves, finely chopped 
(or three tablespoons dried parsely)
3  tablespoons  fresh lemon juice
1/4  cup  olive oil
1  teaspoon salt
1/4  teaspoon pepper

Directions:
In a large bowl, combine the cannellini beans, chickpeas, 
kidney beans, celery, onion, parsley, and rosemary.
In a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, oil, salt, 
and pepper, which makes Vinaigrette Dressing.
Slowly add the Vinaigrette Dressing to the salad and toss.
Best served at room temperature.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna











Subscribe 




Since 1/1/11

             Countries

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 7

The left wing media comments of Wisconsin sure were funny.
"End of Democracy!" 
Awwww, the majority ganging up on on the poor communists?
Isn't majority votes what democracy is all about? 
Ohh only when people vote for Democrats? 

Novel concept, but not all of us have fried their brains by 
staying in college too long or by sitting through too many 
Union meetings.

"Capitalism defeats entitlement!"
Sounds like dad telling his 40 year old son to go get a job.

"Employers outspent employees!"
BS.
The left’s “outspent” argument is ridiculous. Unions take money 
by force from members, hire hundreds of political operatives and 
give them huge salaries to work on campaigns, then call them 
“volunteers” so their work isn’t reported as a campaign contribution.
And what about all the Government workers calling thousands of
people, pestering them to vote against Free Enterprise, 
on Government phones and on Government time, of course?

By the way, Walker only clipped the "Entitlement" of the Government
workers, and did absolutely nothing against workers in Industry.
Yeah, I know, the Communists did not want you to know about
that little inconvenient fact.

Well, the election is over, Employers and job creators won.
Government Workers Unions lost.
Optimism is radiating out from Wisconsin.
And the whole world is watching.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


During the National Spelling Bee recently in the nation's capital,
Islamic spectators became outraged upon discovering that the USA was
embedded in the middle of Jerusalem, Israel's holiest city. The
revelation was made by Douglas Levin, an eighth grader at the Joseph
Lieberman Day School in Rockville Center, MD. When young Levin was asked
to spell the word Jerusalem, he replied, "J  E R- USA - L  E M."

An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who realized, for the
first time, a USA presence in the holy city. Muslim parents immediately
protested the spelling contest, citing American bias toward Israel.

"It's a clear violation of church and state," said Mohammed Ahlee,
lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite.

Bee officials quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that
the Muslims were merely disgruntled because Rajeed Raheed,
a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High, had been eliminated earlier
for misspelling Afghanistan as Afghanustan.

"There is no 'A-N-U-S' in the middle of Afghanistan," said one bee
official, "and if you are referring to members of Al Quaeda, you
would have to use the plural of the word."



CORPORATE STRUCTURE

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
   Leaps tall building in a single bound
   Is more powerful than a locomotive
   Is faster than a speeding bullet
   Walks on water
   Discusses policy with God

PRESIDENT:
   Leaps short buildings in a single bound
   Is more powerful than a switch engine
   Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
   Walks on water if the sea is calm
   Talks with God

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
   Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
   Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
   Is faster than a speeding BB.
   Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
   Talks with God if special request is approved

VICE PRESIDENT:
   Barely clears a Quonset hut
   Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
   Can fire a speeding bullet
   Swims well
   Is occasionally addressed by God

GENERAL MANAGER:
   Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
   Is run over by locomotive
   Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
   Dog paddles
   Talks to animals

MANAGER:
   Runs into buildings
   Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
   Is not issued ammunition
   Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
   Talks to walls

TRAINEE:
   Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
   Says "look at the choo-choo"
   Wets him/herself with a water pistol
   Plays in mud puddles
   Mumbles to him/herself

SECRETARY:
   Moves buildings out of the way
   Kicks locomotives off the tracks
   Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
   Freezes water with a single glance
   Briefs God on what to tell the Chairman



Subscribe a friend to Ophelia Dingbatter's News!

(They will receive a confirmation request)





Click through the picture for full size


 


This is *supposedly* a true story. It occurred on a Melbourne
Australia radio show. One of the FM stations has a competition
where they phone someone up, ask them three personal questions,
phone their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions,
if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali.

Last week the competition went like this:
Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?
Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ohhh, maaaate. Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?
Brian: Orrrrr .... about 10 minutes.
Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it mate?
Brian: Ohhhh maaaaate, I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table.
Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one
Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, alright.

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.
Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the
other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi Brian.
Brian: Hi Sharelle.
Presenter:: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three
questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you
win a trip for two to Bali.
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.
Sharelle: O.K.
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to
work.
Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go
for Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co- Presenter: That's close enough ...Brian was just being a
gentleman.
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No
way, no.
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter
anyway... just tell em.
Sharelle: Ohhhh .....alright .....Up the ass!

  RADIO SILENCE

Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live
here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and
Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.



According to a new article in 'Cosmopolitan' magazine,
they say the position you sleep in says a lot about you. 

They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, 
women who sleep on their stomachs are competent, 
and women who sleep on their  backs with their heels 
behind their ears are very popular.



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to
pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby is a pretty
hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's
father answers and invites him in.

"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you
have a seat?", he says.

"That's cool." says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are
planning to do.

Bobby replies politely that they will probably
just go to the malt shop  or to the drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father responds "Why don't you kids
go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it."

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby
and he says, "Whaaaat?"

"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's father, "Peggy Sue really
likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"

Bobby's eyes light up and smiles from ear to ear.
Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs
in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and
announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts
his date out the front door while dad is saying "Have
a good evening kids," with a wink for Bobby.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled
Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the
door behind her and screams at her father:
"DAMMIT DADDY! THE TWIST!!! 
IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!
AND NOW I AM PREGNANT!"



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Cream of Broccoli Soup 
 
Ingredients:
2 heads broccoli (about 2 pounds)
1 tbsp butter
1 clove garlic, minced (or use 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder)
1 quart chicken or vegetable stock
1/3 cup heavy cream
white pepper to taste
salt to taste

Directions:
Cut the tops, florettes, off the broccoli and set aside. 
Cut the broccoli stems into 1/2-inch slices, and add 
to the tops. In a soup pot, melt the butter over medium 
heat; when it begins to foam add the garlic 
(or garlic powder) and cook for 30 seconds. 

Add the chicken or vegetable stock and broccoli
and bring to a simmer. Cook until the broccoli is 
fork-tender.

When the broccoli is ready, remove from heat 
and mix well by a hand whip, hand mixer or in a 
regular blender. Pour back into the pot.
Add the cream and cook on low until heated 
through. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna





Click through for Hairy Mugshots at "The Smoking Gun"


One quick shake of the head, 
and Dog will get yelled at for an hour.





Subscribe 




Since 1/1/11

             Countries

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, June 6

Wisconsin voted for accountability and against Socialism!
The media of course is full of "Howevers" and "Buts", trying
to make excuses for why their wishful predictions, 
that the left would win, did not come true. 

That seems to be a pattern all over. The media manipulates
polls, hoping to influence elections, and the people rebel
against that. It was the same here in Alberta, the same in
Russia, and exactly the same in Wisconsin.

Accountability is in, Media manipulation is out.
I consider that GOOD News!
That should translate into paid subscriptions and donations,
as people gain confidence in the economy.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

 
Please, help me stay online!

	


Silence doesn't mean your performance left her speechless.
She could be asleep!
--- Sophia Loren



 A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first 
intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, 
so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for 
the rest rooms, but instead, all he found was a beautiful 
fountain with foliage. 

Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. 
When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act 
had already begun. He searched in the dark until he found 
his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.

"Miss it?" she said, "You were starring in it!"



Subscribe a friend to Ophelia Dingbatter's News!

(They will receive a confirmation request)





Click through the picture for full size


 


> From Gramma Kelly
An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the 
night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" 
An older woman doesn't care what you think.
 
An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. 
A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one 
on him.
 
An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman 
will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with 
you after a cup of a herbal tea.
 
The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and 
the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is 
why nature intended young guys to go out with older women 
and young women to go out with older men.
 
Older women can run faster because they're always 
wearing sensible shoes.
 
An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is 
almost always already attached to someone, so there's 
no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. 
The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, 
whiny, dependent man.
 
Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you 
that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young 
woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might 
break up with her.
 
An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly 
demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you 
impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last 
to know.
 
Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women 
can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing 
hockey.
 
An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." 
She's using you!
 
Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman 
will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will 
wait forever, by the phone, for you to call.
 
Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to 
dial Pizza Hut Take out and get you to pay for it.
 
An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. 
A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with 
you, in case you get any ideas.
 
Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to 
having an affair, because somehow they always know.
 
Older women know what Kegel exercises are.
 
An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you 
for a meal.
 
Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front 
of somebody that they might possibly boff later.
 
Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a 
screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a 
public park.
 
Older women are experienced. They understand that 
sometimes, after a few beers, a boy just can't get it up. 
A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.
 
An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them 
will want to screw you too.
 
An older woman will always meet the minimum height 
requirement to go on an amusement ride.
 
An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the 
best years of her youth because chances are someone 
else has stolen them first.  



Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends 
are all named Georgie.

One day they decide to name their boyfriends after 
softdrinks to tell the difference between them.

The first one says "I'll name mine 7-up because he's seven 
inches and always up."

The second one says "I'll name mine MOUNTAIN DEW 
because he likes to mount and do me."

And the third one says "I'll name mine Jack Daniels."

The others say "Hey! That's not a softdrink that's a 
hard licker!".

She says "That's My Georgie!!"



For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter



A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh
blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some
sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started
hassling him about where he'd got it. He told them to piss off
and let him get some sleep.

However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow
me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats
behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest
of trees.

Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around
him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.

"GOOD," shouted the bat, "BECAUSE I  DIDN'T.



RECIPE SECTION, 
thanks to Sr Anna

Lentil Loaf
 
Ingredients:
1 cup dry lentils
2 cups water
1 cup rolled oats
1 egg
1 cup cooked brown rice
1 packed cup grated carrot
2 tablespoons soy sauce (optional)
1 tablespoon ketchup + 1/4 cup ketchup to top the loaf.
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. dry sage + 1 tsp. dry thyme, or 2 tsp. poultry seasoning 
(now you know the secret to poultry seasoning)
1 tablespoon black pepper

Directions:
Put rinsed lentils and water in a medium pot, 
with the carrots. Simmer for 15-20 minutes, 
adding some extra water if it looks dry. 
They shall become gooey. 
While they're cooking, preheat the oven to 350 degrees 
and oil a loaf pan or a casserole dish.

Mix the cooked lentils and carrots with all other 
ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
Spread evenly in the prepared pan. 
Add the 1/4 cup ketchup evenly on top of the loaf.
Bake for 35-40 minutes (a shallow dish cooks faster), 
until the top is nice and crusty.
Let it stand for 5 at least minutes before slicing.

Happy Appetite!
Sr Anna






Black girls with big jugs
Yeah, I know, you are going to forward that to all your buddies!
Tell me, if you want the big version.





Subscribe 




Since 1/1/11

             Countries