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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, June 6 Wisconsin voted for accountability and against Socialism! The media of course is full of "Howevers" and "Buts", trying to make excuses for why their wishful predictions, that the left would win, did not come true. That seems to be a pattern all over. The media manipulates polls, hoping to influence elections, and the people rebel against that. It was the same here in Alberta, the same in Russia, and exactly the same in Wisconsin. Accountability is in, Media manipulation is out. I consider that GOOD News! That should translate into paid subscriptions and donations, as people gain confidence in the economy. Enjoy! Ophelia
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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead, all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage. Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked. "Miss it?" she said, "You were starring in it!"
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> From Gramma Kelly An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea. The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes. An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent man. Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know. Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you! Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call. Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out and get you to pay for it. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas. Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know. Older women know what Kegel exercises are. An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later. Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park. Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after a few beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact. An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will want to screw you too. An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride. An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.
Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie. One day they decide to name their boyfriends after softdrinks to tell the difference between them. The first one says "I'll name mine 7-up because he's seven inches and always up." The second one says "I'll name mine MOUNTAIN DEW because he likes to mount and do me." And the third one says "I'll name mine Jack Daniels." The others say "Hey! That's not a softdrink that's a hard licker!". She says "That's My Georgie!!"
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
try the newsletter of my friend and coach, Dear Webby Dear Webby's Humor Letter |
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he'd got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep. However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy. "GOOD," shouted the bat, "BECAUSE I DIDN'T.
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Lentil Loaf Ingredients: 1 cup dry lentils 2 cups water 1 cup rolled oats 1 egg 1 cup cooked brown rice 1 packed cup grated carrot 2 tablespoons soy sauce (optional) 1 tablespoon ketchup + 1/4 cup ketchup to top the loaf. 1 small onion, finely chopped 2 large cloves garlic, minced 1 tsp. dry sage + 1 tsp. dry thyme, or 2 tsp. poultry seasoning (now you know the secret to poultry seasoning) 1 tablespoon black pepper Directions: Put rinsed lentils and water in a medium pot, with the carrots. Simmer for 15-20 minutes, adding some extra water if it looks dry. They shall become gooey. While they're cooking, preheat the oven to 350 degrees and oil a loaf pan or a casserole dish. Mix the cooked lentils and carrots with all other ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Spread evenly in the prepared pan. Add the 1/4 cup ketchup evenly on top of the loaf. Bake for 35-40 minutes (a shallow dish cooks faster), until the top is nice and crusty. Let it stand for 5 at least minutes before slicing. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Black girls with big jugs
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, June 5 The elections in Wisconsin today will show wether Wisconsin isready for accountability, or wants to slither down towards California or Greek style terminal debt. I am rooting for Walker and hope that accountability wins. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window. His wife yells, "That guy just screwed me twice!" He says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?" She says, "Because I thought it was you -- until he started the second time."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Pan-Fried Potatoes The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, June 4 The White House is getting worried, that Florida will eliminate so many illegal voters, that it could totally alter the election outcome. The fact, that the election is at a time, when the Snowbirds have returned from Canada is already bad enough, eliminating a lot of Cubans and Haitians and other illegal immigrants is bound to change the picture. What could be very interesting is that with Florida refusing to let anybody vote, who is either a citizen OR on Welfare, like the White House demands, they could theoretically split Welfare. They pay for citizens, the White House can pay for Non-Citizens. That sure would help THEIR budget! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Tyrone was visiting Leroy and discussing Leroy's problems with his wife when Leroy's doorbell rang. Leroy answered the door and was handed a paper which the deliverer said was a subpoena. Leroy showed it to Tyrone and asked him if he knew what it was. Tyrone said, "Dis here is a subpeena." "Wut is a sub-peena?" Leroy asked. "Well," said Tyrone, "dat's law talk. Yo wife is suing you for deevorce. We know dat 'sub' means 'unda' and 'peena' is Latin for 'penis', so - 'subpeena' means unda the penis which means she done got you by da balls."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Black Bean Burgers The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Get-LOST-He's-MINE !!!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, June 3 Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
>From Chris Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I de- cided to send out invitations via email. To let my husband know that he had baby-sitting duty that day, I entered his name on the "CC" line. Within minutes of sending the messages, I received an email back from my husband. He wrote, "Can I pick just one or two, three at the most?." He was referring to the "Subject" line of my message, which read, "Lunch and a shower, and the CC line, which had the names and addresses of two dozen women."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Tuna, Tomato, and Cannellini Bean Salad The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, June 2 Welcome Larry in Atco, NJ! California may be following Quebec as far as extracurricular student activities are concerned. Playing hookie, protest marches (weather permitting) and inviting any and all socialist activists to march along. After all, if they are willing to party, ahem study dilligently, for a social service job, that already has a huge surplus of applicants, then somebody else should pay for that. Raising tuition to pay a slightly higher percentage of the cost is apparently considered mean and anti-social and not socialistic at all. Typical Californians they demand services, and then of course vote against the taxes required to pay for them. Borrow it from the grand kids and great grand kids! The problem is that nobody wants to lend them more money. Even Mexico and China are muttering about foreclosing on loans, on which California can't pay the interest. Quebec is not in bad debt, but they don't want to go there, so they are raising the annual tuition from about $2500 to $3500. Even though that is still a real bargain, especially considering that nobody is interested in kids with wallpaper and no skills, the students there claim rights and entitlement, and naturally, all the left wing fringe parties chime in. It gets them into the news. They outlawed mask wearing, and since the students are on the streets making a racket, they cut off the winter semester, and put through some bills severely restricting the protesting. The students and the left wingers are furiously howling, the tax payers are grinning. California is not right wing Pro Free Enterprise like Quebec and it remains to be seen how closely California will copy Quebec. It is a pretty safe bet, though, that it will be noisy. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?" "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna DORM STYLE Grilled Bruschetta Loaf DORM STYLE normally is a low budget version and usually also requires less work, and especially important, less clean-up. With DORM STYLE you also usually cook more than necessary, and save the leftovers in ziplock baggies for midnite snacks or next day's lunch, or for trading, so that you get more value out of one cooking and clean-up. The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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