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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, June 4 The White House is getting worried, that Florida will eliminate so many illegal voters, that it could totally alter the election outcome. The fact, that the election is at a time, when the Snowbirds have returned from Canada is already bad enough, eliminating a lot of Cubans and Haitians and other illegal immigrants is bound to change the picture. What could be very interesting is that with Florida refusing to let anybody vote, who is either a citizen OR on Welfare, like the White House demands, they could theoretically split Welfare. They pay for citizens, the White House can pay for Non-Citizens. That sure would help THEIR budget! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Tyrone was visiting Leroy and discussing Leroy's problems with his wife when Leroy's doorbell rang. Leroy answered the door and was handed a paper which the deliverer said was a subpoena. Leroy showed it to Tyrone and asked him if he knew what it was. Tyrone said, "Dis here is a subpeena." "Wut is a sub-peena?" Leroy asked. "Well," said Tyrone, "dat's law talk. Yo wife is suing you for deevorce. We know dat 'sub' means 'unda' and 'peena' is Latin for 'penis', so - 'subpeena' means unda the penis which means she done got you by da balls."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Black Bean Burgers The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Get-LOST-He's-MINE !!!
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, June 3 Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
>From Chris Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I de- cided to send out invitations via email. To let my husband know that he had baby-sitting duty that day, I entered his name on the "CC" line. Within minutes of sending the messages, I received an email back from my husband. He wrote, "Can I pick just one or two, three at the most?." He was referring to the "Subject" line of my message, which read, "Lunch and a shower, and the CC line, which had the names and addresses of two dozen women."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Tuna, Tomato, and Cannellini Bean Salad The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, June 2 Welcome Larry in Atco, NJ! California may be following Quebec as far as extracurricular student activities are concerned. Playing hookie, protest marches (weather permitting) and inviting any and all socialist activists to march along. After all, if they are willing to party, ahem study dilligently, for a social service job, that already has a huge surplus of applicants, then somebody else should pay for that. Raising tuition to pay a slightly higher percentage of the cost is apparently considered mean and anti-social and not socialistic at all. Typical Californians they demand services, and then of course vote against the taxes required to pay for them. Borrow it from the grand kids and great grand kids! The problem is that nobody wants to lend them more money. Even Mexico and China are muttering about foreclosing on loans, on which California can't pay the interest. Quebec is not in bad debt, but they don't want to go there, so they are raising the annual tuition from about $2500 to $3500. Even though that is still a real bargain, especially considering that nobody is interested in kids with wallpaper and no skills, the students there claim rights and entitlement, and naturally, all the left wing fringe parties chime in. It gets them into the news. They outlawed mask wearing, and since the students are on the streets making a racket, they cut off the winter semester, and put through some bills severely restricting the protesting. The students and the left wingers are furiously howling, the tax payers are grinning. California is not right wing Pro Free Enterprise like Quebec and it remains to be seen how closely California will copy Quebec. It is a pretty safe bet, though, that it will be noisy. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?" "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna DORM STYLE Grilled Bruschetta Loaf DORM STYLE normally is a low budget version and usually also requires less work, and especially important, less clean-up. With DORM STYLE you also usually cook more than necessary, and save the leftovers in ziplock baggies for midnite snacks or next day's lunch, or for trading, so that you get more value out of one cooking and clean-up. The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, May 25 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!Welcome Larry in Atco, NJ! DearWebby told me that Larry sent a Canadian looking Money Order. That must have been quite a challenge in NJ ! You don't really have to do that. Any check, personal or business, any money order, postal or bank, in any currency, is quite OK. He can cash them all. He told me that he even has a web hosting client in Israel, who sends US Dollar bills, that are so old, that the tellers at the bank make funny faces and call for help in checking them, but they cash them. Yeah, I know, the longer they fuss, the more he can smart-ass and flirt at them. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A woman was walking along pushing her newborn baby in the carriage when an old friend approached her. The friend leaned over, peering into the carriage said, "What a beautiful baby boy, and he looks JUST like his father." "I know", replied the woman, "I just wish he looked more like my husband!"
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Grilled Bruschetta Loaf The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, May 31 That "Flame virus" sure is getting a lot of publicity all of a sudden. It has been around for five years, but now every anti-virus company uses it to get mentioned in the news. Don't worry about it. It is not a regular virus like the Flashback, that affected 600,000 Mac computers this spring. Flame is a data miner that harvests huge amounts of data, and is only directed at certain computers in Iran and that area. Whoever controls that miner is NOT interested in your collection of playboy centerfolds or whatever it is you fill up your hard drive with. So far it seems that "Flame" is controlled by Israel and the US, and has been manually put on a hundred or so computers in the mid East. That's all. Nothing to worry about. Your Playboy or Playgirl centerfolds are safe. A future version of "Flame" might be targeting child porn, and considering, that "Flame" has been out for five years, that future version could be close to ready. You or I don't have to worry about that, but it is interesting to note, that the tool was initially developed for trying to get data about Iran's nuclear efforts. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he went to see his doctor. The doctor suggested that the man could solve his problem by startling himself whenever he thought that he was going to ejaculate. So, the man went directly to a sporting goods store and bought a starter pistol. Then he went home to try the doctor's advice. When he got home, he found his wife waiting for him on their bed,... naked! So he ripped off his clothes and began making love to her. Eventually, they wound up in the "69" position and then the man felt an enormous urge to ejaculate, so he cranked off a few shots with his new starter pistol. They next day, he went back to the doctor and reported his results. He said, "It didn't work out for me, Doc! When I fired the pistol, my wife crapped on my face, bit my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
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RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Shepherd's Pie DORM Style The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Do you know somebody, who can afford 2 cents per day or $10 per year? Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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