got him by the balls 
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Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Nude maid service could face fines 
LUBBOCK, Texas (UPI) -- Police in Texas said a cleaning 
service offering nude maids could face fines if it continues 
to operate without a permit. 

Melissa Borrett, owner of Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service, 
which began operating nearly a month ago, said her maids 
will clean houses while wearing lingerie, topless or nude, 
but they do not engage in any sex acts with the customers
while they are busy cleaning, KCBD-TV, Lubbock, reported. 

"We have a very strict no touching policy with this business. 
There is definitely nothing illegal going on, we really clean 
houses," she said. 

However, Lubbock police Sgt. Jonathan Stewart said the 
business is considered sexually oriented due to the maids 
working topless or nude and Borrett could face fines unless 
she obtains a permit to operate such a business within city 
limits. 

"Just the fact employees are topless or semi nude in this 
case it's just not allowed," Stewart said. Without a permit would 
result in a penalty of a $2,000 fine. Each day would result in 
another penalty. 

However, police said they will not investigate the business 
unless a complaint is lodged. That might not happen until 
after hell freezes over.

Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Tyrone was visiting Leroy and discussing Leroy's problems with his wife when Leroy's doorbell rang. Leroy answered the door and was handed a paper which the deliverer said was a subpoena. Leroy showed it to Tyrone and asked him if he knew what it was. Tyrone in his pompous lack of knowledge said, "Dis here is a subpeena." "Wut is a sub-peena?" Leroy asked. "Well," said Tyrone, "dat's law talk. Yo wife is suing you for deevorce. We know dat 'sub' means 'unda' and 'peena'is Latin for 'penis', so - 'subpeena' means unda the penis which means she done got you by da balls."
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter

RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna DORM style No Bake Graham Cracker Sandwich Treats The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
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   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
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   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


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Enjoy!
Ophelia


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See ya tomorrow!
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Whome he got pregnant 
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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 12

I read an article about coffee today, that made a lot of sense.
lately it has become fashionable for every wanna-be health
guru to pooh-pooh coffee. Well, the way they were ganging up
on coffee, and promoting this, that, and the other thing, 
seemed more than a bit phony to me. I know a bunch of really
old old-timers, who drink a fair bit of coffee, and don't seem
to be bothered by it in the least.

Well, it turns out that even though coffee does have some tars
and traces of other questionable compounds, coffee has such 
high concentrations of beneficial antioxidants, phenolic nutrients, 
chlorogenic acids, and other healthy compounds, that it more 
than counteracts any bad compounds.

In fact, coffee provides the biggest source of antioxidants for 
most Americans.

So, drink your coffee and enjoy it!

However, that applies to COFFEE, not to burned dishwater with
corn syrup and artificial flavors and phony creamers.

Real coffee and if necessary a bit of real milk, is good for you.
If you need to sweeten it, use Stevia or a drop of molasses.
Personally, I like my coffee straight, without ANYTHING added.

Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies fer causin' people to git cancer?" "Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer. "And now someone is suin' them fast food restaurants fer makin' them fat an' cloggin' their arteries with all them burgers an' fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?" "Sure is, Bubba." "And that lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?" "Yep." "And that football player sued that university when he gradiated and still couldn't read?" "That's right," said the lawyer. "But why are you asking?" "Well, I was thinkin' . What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them weird wimin I got pregnant?"
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter

RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna No Bake Graham Cracker Sandwich Treats The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. If you can't afford 2 cents per day, then you can't afford the ingredients for today's recipe anyway. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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$1 per month or $10 per year.

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3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


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Ophelia Dingbatter
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Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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Boobs are for Daddy only 
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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 11

The European Court of Human Rights has decided that half a
dozen terrorists in jails in England, can be extradited to the US.
They include Abu Hamza, Babar Ahmad, Seyla Ahsan, 
Adel Abdul Bary, Khaled al-Fawwaz. Their lawyers will of 
course appeal, but chances are pretty good that they will
be extradited. In the US they face fairly quick conviction and
sentencing, most likely multiple lifetime sentences and be 
sent to some Supermax prison.

Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
From Rosy As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast-feed before, she was full of questions. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, "My mom has some of those too, but the only one who gets to use them is Daddy"
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, try the newsletter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter

RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna DORM Style Stuffed Potato Skins The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. If you can't afford 2 cents per day, then you can't afford the ingredients for today's recipe anyway. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
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3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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Cold hands 
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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 10



Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up." He does and that warms him up. After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man oh man! My hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and I'll warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night's fire. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!" She looks at him and says, "Jeez ! don't your ears ever get cold?"
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, try the newsletter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter

RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna California Potato Skins The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. If you can't afford 2 cents per day, then you can't afford the ingredients for today's recipe anyway. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since 1/1/11 free counters Countries
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
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Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,

3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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Two whales 
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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 9

I found all of Maryann and Joe's eggs, and luckily none
of them were from the previous year. I also found over fifteen
dollars of assorted change, which we split. I also found a 
stack of invoices, which we did NOT split.

The Great Easter Potato Salad was a big success, as always.
It was a real fridge-cleaner. We tossed in what was left in
the hamburger relish jar, dumped the hot salsa jar, olives,
cut up what was left of the dill pickles, cubed and fried 
bacon and ham, half a cucumber, and of course a small bag 
of "Yukon Gold" potatoes. They are a firm, fleshy type, not
a sandy, smeary type. They have a texture more like a not 
quite ripe plum, and are perfect for potato salad, since they
don't get mushy or smeary.

For the dressing we used mayonaise, Keens mustard powder
and cider vinegar. When it was all good and coated with the
dressing, we carefully folded in the sliced boiled easter eggs.

Yes, I did eat more than I should have, we all did, but then
we went for a long walk. It was a great Easter Sunday!

Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Thanks to Dianne for this: Hope you females out there that have a problem controlling your weight, don't take offense at this I was in a pub last night and saw two "girls of size" (as Political Correctness now requires us to say) by the bar. They both spoke with a pronounced brogue, and making a guess about their origin I said, "Hello! Are you two girls from Scotland?" One of them screamed, "It's WALES, you f------g idiot!" So I immediately apologized, and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?" That's when all hell broke loose .
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter

RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna DORM style Micro Quiche The recipe is in the 2 cents per day version. If you can't afford 2 cents per day, then you can't afford the ingredients for today's recipe anyway. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since 1/1/11 free counters Countries
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$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
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3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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