Dirty Piccolo 
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, February 28

We had beautiful sunshine and in the afternoon it warmed
up to -4. Had to go to the hospital for blood tests, and of 
course walked to make the most of the sunshine.
It was quite a nice treat!

Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been? What are you doing?" "Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra." "Spectacular!" the man replies. "It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the king of England, he loves the music. He says 'Fill the instruments with gold!' and they fill the tuba with gold, and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn piccolo." "We play for the queen of France. She loves the music; she says 'Fill the instruments with silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo." "Then we play for the czar of Russia. He hates the music; he says 'Shove the instruments up their asses!' and the tuba doesn't fit and the trombone doesn't fit, AND ME WITH THE GODDAMN PICCOLO!"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Chicken with Mushroom-Marsala Sauce Ingredients 4 medium skinned, boned chicken breast halves Salt and pepper 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 package sliced cremini mushrooms or slice 10 ounces of mushrooms 1 large shallot, finely chopped 1/2 cup chicken broth (they make it with reduced salt for those non salt eaters) 1/2 cup Marsala wine for recipe, {AND 1 cup wine to drink as you cook } 2 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley Directions Place chicken-breast halves between 2 sheets of plastic wrap. With meat mallet or rolling pin, pound breasts to an even 1/2-inch thickness; sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper. In nonstick 12-inch skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat until hot. Add breasts and cook 6 to 7 minutes or until browned on both sides and chicken loses its pink color throughout, turning over once. Transfer breasts to platter; cover with foil to keep warm. To skillet, add mushrooms, shallot, and 1/4 tsp. salt. Cook 3 minutes or until mushrooms are browned, stirring frequently. Add chicken broth, Marsala wine, and any juices from chicken on platter. Cook 4 minutes to reduce sauce by half, stirring occasionally. Stir in parsley. Pour over cooked chicken breasts. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Come on, Ralph! Let's go scare the tourists! A bear of a hangover
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   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
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If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
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   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
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You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


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Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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Focus both ? 
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, February 27

-23 right now. That usually means a real scorcher August.
They might even thaw out the Gullible Warming con, and
make YOU feel guilty. Doesn't work on me, though.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Twin sisters at a nursing home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear very well. Once the photographer arrived, he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The near-deaf sister said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other one. "Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman. Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE." So they wiggled up close to each other. "Just hold on for a bit longer; I've got to focus," said the photographer. Yet again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!" With a big grin the near-deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD -- BOTH OF US?"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Breakfast Egg Wraps - DORM VERSION also called Hangover Rolls Ingredients: 2 eggs / person 2 - 3 flour tortillas / person 1 small can Steakhouse mushrooms (sliced mushrooms) 1/2 baggie of shredded Mozarella 1 cup instant mashed potatoes 1 heaped TBSP butter (for the potatoes) 1/2 cup milk 1 tbsp butter (to scramble the eggs) 1 TBSP Tabasco sauce 1 tsp Mustard powder 1/2 tsp Nutmeg powder 1/2 tsp ground cloves 1 TBSP Bacon Bits Parsley chopped fine salt and pepper Directions Heat milk while stirring it When it starts to boil, dissolve the butterin it Take it off the burner and stir the potatoes into it. Scramble the eggs and all the other ingredients (except tortillas and cheese) Stir the scrambled eggs into the mashed potatoes Place a scoop of the goop onto each tortilla, Tuck the ends in and roll them up Put them into a greased casserole or electric frying pan Sprinkle the cheese over them Cover and bake until the cheese has melted. Uncover and let it cool until you can divide them without making a big mess. Wrap leftovers in aluminum foil for frezing or trading. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Tablecloth
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Since 1/1/11 free counters Countries
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you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

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3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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He asked her for her phone number 
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, February 26

Enjoy!
Ophelia

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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives. "My wife is mad at me again," says the first. "Why?" "I was bombed at the bar across the street last night. And she came looking for me." "What'd you do?" "I asked her for her phone number."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Breakfast Egg Wraps Ingredients: Few ounces goat cheese or any soft/crumbly white cheese of your choice. Few eggs Handful of small spinach leaves Few tortillas Directions: Per Each Breakfast Wrap: Spread 1 ounce soft goat cheese on a whole wheat tortilla. Add 1 egg, scrambled Top with baby spinach leaves. Roll or fold tortilla. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Please vote forOphelia Dingbatter! Subscribe
Since 1/1/11 free counters Countries
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,

3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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Wonder Bra 
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, February 25

DerWebby did take my suggestion and took the night 
shift off. Apparently he could not read anything on the 
monitor, but said, he would recognize me with his Braille
readers, if I drove to Black Diamond.

I am sure he would have, and probably asked me to cook
supper afterwards.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Thanks to Bob for this: While doing some shopping with Annie, I found myself in the lingerie section staring at a collection of Wonder Bras. Naturally, a pretty young thang came over and asked if I needed some assistance. Shame they don't ask for what you WANT, isn't it? Anyway, I said, "Look, if it's a Wonder Bra, am I supposed to pick out the size she IS or the size I want her to BE?"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna FILLED RRIGATONI - DORM VERSION Ingredients Salt Pepper Onion flakes Parsley Flakes or fresh Basil Flakes Fennel flakes or fresh Oregano Flakes 1 8 oz can of Steakhouse mushrooms (sliced mushroom) 1 8oz can of sliced olives 1 8 oz can of spiced tomato paste 1 can of diced and spiced tomatoes 1 green pepper 1/2 Kg (1 pound) ground beef 2 TBSP paprika 1 tsp dry mustard 1 small bag of grated Mozarella cheese 1 package of Rigatoni noodles (or any large hollow noodles) Rigatoni noodles are straight, ribbed tubes, about 5 cm (2 inches) long. Anything similar will do. Directions Boil the Rigatoni noodles until they have swollen up. No need to boil them until they are soft. Cut the mushrooms, olives and green pepper really small. A food processor or blender will be really handy for that, but five minutes with a big knife on a cutting board will accomplish the same. Brown the meat in the frying pan. Add the rest of the ingredients and let them simmer. Break up any lumps, if necessary run the stuff through the blender again. Taste it and add salt and pepper as needed. A can of "Sloppy Joe" can be used instead of the above. Drain the noodles and stand them up in a greased casserole. No machine can do that for you. You have to do that by hand. There will probably be a handful of Rigatonis left over, you can use them in a soup or salad. Once you have the rigatonis stacked up, you can pour the Sloppy Joe mix from the frying pan over the noodles. Jiggle the casserole and squeegie the stuff into the Rigatoni. You won't get all of it ddown into and between the Rigatoni, but try anyway. Leave the rest on top, and sprinkle the cheese over it. Cover and turn on the casserole or put it into an oven until the cheese has melted. Serve with green salad with Italian dressing, or oil, cider-vinegar Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
Please vote forOphelia Dingbatter! Subscribe
Since 1/1/11 free counters Countries
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,

3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News
Privcy guaranteed by Webby Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.
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his mom is a hooker 
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Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, February 23

If tomorrow, Friday, does not have a newsletter, don't worry.
DearWebby has to go for an eye exam and injection into the
eye. Luckily Barb, who lives only a block away, will drive 
him back and guide him into his house. Apparently the
120 flashes into dilated eyes do a real number on him,
and the injection into the eye makes it worse for a day or two.
So, if he can't see enough to send out the correct or any
newsletter, just be patient. He might send it later in the day,
or decide to skip a day. 

I will write mine and send it to him, but I told him not to worry 
and skip a day

Enjoy!
Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said, "My mom's a hooker." Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" Johnny said, "Yes" "Well, what did the principal say?" "He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Beef and Green Olive Rigatoni Ingredients Salt Pepper 1 large onion 3 clove garlic 1 cup green olives, jarred and pitted 1/3 cup red pepper, roasted and drained 12 ounce 90-percent lean ground beef 12 ounce rigatoni pasta 1 teaspoon dried oregano Chopped parsley, for garnish Directions Heat large covered saucepot of salted water to boiling on high. Chop onion and garlic. Reserve 1 tablespoon olive brine; drain olives. Halve olives; thinly slice red pepper. To 12-inch nonstick skillet, add beef and 1/8 teaspoon salt; cook on medium 5 to 6 minutes or until browned, stirring and breaking up meat with spoon. With slotted spoon, transfer beef to medium bowl. Add pasta to boiling water. Cook 2 minutes less than minimum time that label directs, stirring occasionally. Reserve 1/2 cup pasta cooking water. Drain pasta; return to pot. To same skillet, add onion, oregano, and 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper. Cook 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add garlic; cook 2 to 3 minutes or until golden, stirring often. Return beef to skillet. Stir in olives, red pepper, and reserved olive brine. Cook 2 minutes or until heated through. To pasta in pot, add beef mixture and reserved cooking liquid. Heat on medium 2 minutes or until pasta is cooked, stirring often. Serve in shallow bowls; garnish with parsle. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
High Speed Snow Plow
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For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
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Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,

3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News
Privcy guaranteed by Webby Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.
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