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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, January 30 Temperature went above freezing and walking outside was actualy quite nice for a chenge, especially in areas, that were sheltered from the wind. If you know of anybody, who can afford a 2 cents per day newsletter, PLEASE tell them about me! Hopefully we don't have to pause until after the election! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A young couple took their two-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small wee wee. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem." The next morning, when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?" "Just take two," his mother replied. "The rest are for your father."
Can you spot the 3 people in those beans?
Hot, wild girls
3 beaners revealed
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, January 29 Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, January 29 -9 and windy. Not comfortable at all walking against the wind. The consolation is that the wind is picking the snow up from lawns and sidewalks, and hauling it towards Ontario and Illinois, on the other side of the prairies. If you know of anybody, who can afford a 2 cents per day newsletter, PLEASE tell them about me! Hopefully we don't have to pause until after the election! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from a shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt. The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled. The woman snaps at him, "Well, I can see that you're no gentleman!" The hillbilly says, "And I can see you ain't one, either!"
Hot, wild girls
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, January 28 "My golden rule is to have a big fat camera man. I can't outrun a bear, but I can outrun that camera guy." --- Jeff Corwin, nature show host If you know of anybody, who can afford a 2 cents per day newsletter, PLEASE tell them about me! Hopefully we don't have to pause until after the election! Enjoy! Ophelia
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
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Click through for the big picture
The sculptor and one of his students went out for coffee after class. "You have the most delicate, slender hands," said the student, a rather gorgeous young thing. "Forgive me for saying it, but they belong on a woman." Not only did he forgive her, he obliged.
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
try the newsletter of my friend and coach, Dear Webby Dear Webby's Humor Letter |
This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co- worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." "Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings." "Oh, yeah, sure," says Bob sheepishly. "Really? How long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my car!"
Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!" Taurus: "I'm hungry. Pass the pizza before we do it again." Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?" Cancer: "When are we getting married?" Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?" Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets." Libra: "I liked it if you liked it." Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you." Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you." Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?" Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!" Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"
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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, January 27 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!We had a nice and rambunctious Chinook, that hauled a few billion tons of snow from here to Ontario and Illinois. It will arrive in about 5 days. The fairly warm Chinook, warm here, before it looses all that as it picks up moisture racing across the prairies, is now being chased by a nasty north Wind. That might get really nasty when it crosses the Great Lakes. If you are in Ontario or Illinois, you might consider this a good time to either go on vacation, or invest in a snow blower. If you know of anybody, who can afford a 2 cents per day newsletter, PLEASE tell them about me! Hopefully we don't have to pause until after the election! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
The preacher got up in church one Sunday morning and told the congregation, "Brothers and sisters, we are going to have to do something about people parking behind the church at night. I was out there this morning and there are enough beer cans out there to build a car." One of the old sisters stood up and said, "Amen brother and enough rubbers to put tires on it."
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, January 26 Half a dozen years ago, there was a big Tsunami that hit Sr Lanka and money was raised to help out. Here in Alberta, the Government matched dollar for dollar any funds raised by people. Then an elephant at the Calgary Zoo painted a big painting about it, and it was sold on eBay for $6200. Now, did that make the elphant "people" and the Alberta Govt had to match that amount? They did, of course, but first there was a whole lot of on-line haggling and fighting on forums and sites, and even more money was raised from the ads on the forums and sites. What struck me as funny today, was that I remembered the elephant, but had to look up where exactly that particular Tsunami had been. If you know of anybody, who can afford a 2 cents per day newsletter, PLEASE tell them about me! Hopefully we don't have to pause until after the election! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2.7 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2.7 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Bill asks a woman out on a date after meeting her in a bar. She says, "What kind of car do you drive?" Bill replies " A VW Bug." She scornfully says, "That's awfully small!" Bill replies, "Don't worry, I'm not going to screw you with the car, or IN the car."Bill asks a woman out on a date after meeting her in a bar. She says, "What kind of car do you drive?" Bill replies " A VW Bug." She scornfully says, "That's awfully small!" Bill replies, "Don't worry, I'm not going to screw you with the car, or IN the car."
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Subscribe | |
you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
|
If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
|
ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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