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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, October 26 Welcome Wezzie in Colorado! I learned a new phrase today: "hafting to be uproared" Watch the first of the two movies at the bottom. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A footwear salesman, staying at a hotel, took a fancy to the housemaid. He offered her $25 for an hour in his room, but she replied that she wasn't a girl like that. She said that when she did it, it was just for love. Now he'd put her off and she couldn't get passionate even if she wanted to. The salesman happened to mention that he was selling shoes and had an extremely good sample pair. The girl gave in, and took the salesman upstairs where she stripped completely and lay back on the bed. The rep got going and was surprised and delighted to find the girl very responsive. First she wrapped her right arm around him, then her left leg, then her left arm and then her right leg. Of course her enthusiasm must have been due to his skill as a lover. "I thought you said you couldn't get worked up." said the rep rather smugly. "I'm not, I'm just trying on the shoes."
» GlowAway
Hafting to be uproared She is going to become a Classic, just like the Urban Blonde Flash Mob in Copenhagen (Opposite of flea-baggers occupying any place)
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, October 25 The daylight seems to be ending too early. Isn't it about time for going back to winter time? Europe and a large part of the world will do that this week, Canada, mexico and the US will wait until the first Sunday in November. Without Gullible warming it is too chilly to enjoy the evenings outside anyway, so it doesn't really make that much of a difference to me. How about you?. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. she tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. she tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and the skirt was still to tight. She tried one more time. She reached back and unzipped some more. And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus. So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt. He gives her a boost onto the bus. She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing." The man says "Well lady, after you unzipped my pants for the third time I thought we were aquainted."
» Global Solar
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, October 24 Lemon Juice has artificial lemon flavor. Dish Soap has real lemons in it. Neither one tastes good. I think I will save up for a real lemon. Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall..... A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: bright green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "One time, when I was REALLY drunk, I had sex with a peacock. I am wondering if you are my son."
» Celebrity Sense & Nonsense
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Ophelia
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, October 23 Thanks for trying to vote, but Ezinefinder is not on Webby's servers. Complaining to me or to Dear Webby won't help. Ezinefinder is on some Mac server on the West Coast. You can write to support@cumuli.com, but with their server down, I doubt, that they can receive mail. Just be patient. I am sure they will get it working again soon. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
The preacher rose with an angry frown on a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread an ugly rumor that I belong to the KKK. This is a terrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am shocked and embarrassed and I do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who started this despicable rumor to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!" No one moved. The preacher continued, " Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit that this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!" Again all was quiet. No one moved. Finally and slowly a gorgeous blonde with a voluptuous figure rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend, I think there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the KKK. I just told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets."
» Celebrity Sense & Nonsense
Don't try this at home!
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Ophelia
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, October 22 Welcome Jim! It is getting quite windy, but a cold and steady wind. Not the warm and rambunctious wind everybody is waiting for. Well, it is not the end of October yet. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A married man was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea, why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it... she'll probably be thrilled." So the fellow did. The next day his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," said the fellow. "Did she like it?" His buddy asked. "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling 'I'll be back in an hour!!'"
Loose Sluices
Shucking Corn
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online!
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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