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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, February 26 Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives. "My wife is mad at me again," says the first. "Why?" "I was bombed at the bar across the street last night. And she came looking for me." "What'd you do?" "I asked her for her phone number."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Breakfast Egg Wraps Ingredients: Few ounces goat cheese or any soft/crumbly white cheese of your choice. Few eggs Handful of small spinach leaves Few tortillas Directions: Per Each Breakfast Wrap: Spread 1 ounce soft goat cheese on a whole wheat tortilla. Add 1 egg, scrambled Top with baby spinach leaves. Roll or fold tortilla. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, February 25 DerWebby did take my suggestion and took the night shift off. Apparently he could not read anything on the monitor, but said, he would recognize me with his Braille readers, if I drove to Black Diamond. I am sure he would have, and probably asked me to cook supper afterwards. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Thanks to Bob for this: While doing some shopping with Annie, I found myself in the lingerie section staring at a collection of Wonder Bras. Naturally, a pretty young thang came over and asked if I needed some assistance. Shame they don't ask for what you WANT, isn't it? Anyway, I said, "Look, if it's a Wonder Bra, am I supposed to pick out the size she IS or the size I want her to BE?"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna FILLED RRIGATONI - DORM VERSION Ingredients Salt Pepper Onion flakes Parsley Flakes or fresh Basil Flakes Fennel flakes or fresh Oregano Flakes 1 8 oz can of Steakhouse mushrooms (sliced mushroom) 1 8oz can of sliced olives 1 8 oz can of spiced tomato paste 1 can of diced and spiced tomatoes 1 green pepper 1/2 Kg (1 pound) ground beef 2 TBSP paprika 1 tsp dry mustard 1 small bag of grated Mozarella cheese 1 package of Rigatoni noodles (or any large hollow noodles) Rigatoni noodles are straight, ribbed tubes, about 5 cm (2 inches) long. Anything similar will do. Directions Boil the Rigatoni noodles until they have swollen up. No need to boil them until they are soft. Cut the mushrooms, olives and green pepper really small. A food processor or blender will be really handy for that, but five minutes with a big knife on a cutting board will accomplish the same. Brown the meat in the frying pan. Add the rest of the ingredients and let them simmer. Break up any lumps, if necessary run the stuff through the blender again. Taste it and add salt and pepper as needed. A can of "Sloppy Joe" can be used instead of the above. Drain the noodles and stand them up in a greased casserole. No machine can do that for you. You have to do that by hand. There will probably be a handful of Rigatonis left over, you can use them in a soup or salad. Once you have the rigatonis stacked up, you can pour the Sloppy Joe mix from the frying pan over the noodles. Jiggle the casserole and squeegie the stuff into the Rigatoni. You won't get all of it ddown into and between the Rigatoni, but try anyway. Leave the rest on top, and sprinkle the cheese over it. Cover and turn on the casserole or put it into an oven until the cheese has melted. Serve with green salad with Italian dressing, or oil, cider-vinegar Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Since July 1, 2011,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, February 23 If tomorrow, Friday, does not have a newsletter, don't worry. DearWebby has to go for an eye exam and injection into the eye. Luckily Barb, who lives only a block away, will drive him back and guide him into his house. Apparently the 120 flashes into dilated eyes do a real number on him, and the injection into the eye makes it worse for a day or two. So, if he can't see enough to send out the correct or any newsletter, just be patient. He might send it later in the day, or decide to skip a day. I will write mine and send it to him, but I told him not to worry and skip a day Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said, "My mom's a hooker." Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" Johnny said, "Yes" "Well, what did the principal say?" "He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Beef and Green Olive Rigatoni Ingredients Salt Pepper 1 large onion 3 clove garlic 1 cup green olives, jarred and pitted 1/3 cup red pepper, roasted and drained 12 ounce 90-percent lean ground beef 12 ounce rigatoni pasta 1 teaspoon dried oregano Chopped parsley, for garnish Directions Heat large covered saucepot of salted water to boiling on high. Chop onion and garlic. Reserve 1 tablespoon olive brine; drain olives. Halve olives; thinly slice red pepper. To 12-inch nonstick skillet, add beef and 1/8 teaspoon salt; cook on medium 5 to 6 minutes or until browned, stirring and breaking up meat with spoon. With slotted spoon, transfer beef to medium bowl. Add pasta to boiling water. Cook 2 minutes less than minimum time that label directs, stirring occasionally. Reserve 1/2 cup pasta cooking water. Drain pasta; return to pot. To same skillet, add onion, oregano, and 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper. Cook 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add garlic; cook 2 to 3 minutes or until golden, stirring often. Return beef to skillet. Stir in olives, red pepper, and reserved olive brine. Cook 2 minutes or until heated through. To pasta in pot, add beef mixture and reserved cooking liquid. Heat on medium 2 minutes or until pasta is cooked, stirring often. Serve in shallow bowls; garnish with parsle. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
High Speed Snow Plow
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, February 22 Another one of the con artists, that were pretending to be scientists on the CO2 hoax side, has been caught: Peter Gleick Al Gore is just quietly spending the Millions he made with the hoax, and not saying much these days. He is probably busy preparing the "Ice Age is coming!" hoax. By messing with the fake data enough, the hockey stick can be painted as if it pointed down. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you must help me. Every night I dream that I'm driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York. I'm so tired I can hardly get up in the morning." The doctor says, "Tell you what. Next time you have this dream, just call me and I'll come over and drive the truck for you." The man tries it, and is cured. Another patient tells the doctor, "I have this same dream every night. I'm making love to four beautiful women, and by morning I'm totally exhausted. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "Tell you what, next time you have this dream, just call me and I'll come and take a couple of them off your hands." Two weeks later the man with the over sex problem goes back to the psychiatrist and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Now these women are bringing their friends, and they're all getting so demanding. I'm so tired I can barely get through the day. Can't you do something?" "You should have called me." the doctor replied. "I told you I'd take a couple of them off your hands." "But Doc," he said, "I've been calling you every night, and your service keeps telling me you're out driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York."
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Veggie Pasta Salad DORM version Ingredients 1 package of KD noodles or similar, boiled 4 eggs, boiled 1 99 cent can of large cubed veggies (broccoli & cauliflour) 1 88 cent can of small cubed veggies (carrots and peas) 2 TBSP dried onion flakes 1 TBSP bacon bits 1 heaped TBSP mustard powder 1 tsp salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 1/2 cup mayonnaise 2 TBSP cider vinegar or Italian Salad Dressing Directions Boil noodles and eggs, drain Peel eggs and cut them into chunks Mix mustard powder, salt and vinegar until smooth Add all small ingredients, then the mayonaise. DON'T skip the mayo! Mayo has an artificially low ph, so that bacteria can't grow in the stuff. Add the noodles and mix well. Finally, add the egg chunks and gently fold them in. If the budget allows, you can add cubed garlic ring sausage, preferably cut into small slices and fried a bit. even a bit makes a huge difference. If there is company, decorate with a few sprigs of parsley and some narrow lemon wedges. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Subscribe | |
you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
|
If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
|
ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, February 21 We have enough fresh snow to make everything look bright and clean, but little enough, so that it is no nuisance for walking or driving. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is ONE joke of the type you get in the 2 cent per day version. ($10 / year, $1 / month) The full version also has other goodies. Have you been good enough to deserve 2 cents per day? Treat yourself to the FULL VERSION!
Little Johnny and his friend Billy were playing in a lane, and found a donkey that had died with a hard on. Being mischievous, Little Johnny cut off the donkey's dick and began brandishing it in the air. Just then a police officer on his bicycle came up the lane. Little Johnny didn't want to be caught with it, so he tossed it over the wall of the Nunnery. Sister Agnes and Sister Mary taking their afternoon stroll found the dick in the bushes. "Oh sweet Jesus," says Sister Agnes. "What's wrong?" asks Sister Mary. "You've gone as white as a sheet." "It's those dirty protestant bastards," Sister Agnes replies. "They have murdered Father O'Toole!"
RECIPE SECTION, thanks to Sr Anna Lemon and Peas Pasta Salad Dish Ingredients 1 pound bow-tie or small shell pasta Salt 1 package (10-ounce) frozen small peas 2 lemons 2/3 cup milk 1/2 cup light mayonnaise 1/4 teaspoon(s) coarsely ground black pepper 1 cup(s) (loosely packed) fresh basil leaves, chopped 4 green onions, thinly sliced Directions In large saucepot, cook pasta in boiling salted water as label directs, adding frozen peas during last 2 minutes of cooking time. Drain pasta and peas; rinse with cold water and drain well. Meanwhile, from lemons, grate 1 tablespoon peel and squeeze 3 tablespoons lemon juice. In large bowl, with wire whisk, mix lemon peel and juice with milk, mayonnaise, pepper, basil, green onions, and 1 teaspoon salt until blended. Add pasta and peas to mayonnaise dressing; toss to coat well. Cover and refrigerate up to two days if not serving right away. Happy Appetite! Sr Anna
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Subscribe | |
you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
|
If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online! |
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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