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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, October 15 Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
I found this in an old newsletter from DearWebby: I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "they're for my girlfriend". She says again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! Man, you really must have fucked up!"
Really weird stuff
Elevator
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, October 14 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia? In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
Tasty Brekkie Treats
Triple feature
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, October 13 Welcome Ray from Norwich, CT! I find it very interesting to see where each member is from. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
An instructor was giving a course in human sexuality, during which he was discussing numerous items in the Kinsey report. Audible gasps could be heard when he read out that a woman had several hundred orgasms in a single session. Suddenly, a male voice from the back of the class shouted, "Wow, who was she?" "Who the hell cares!" a female voice yelled. "Who was HE?"
Corn Mazes
Floating Outhouse
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Today is Wednesday, October 12 Welcome Ken from Chicopee! Today I was helping my neighbor Maryann with the shopping and noticed that those fancy "Asian Pears", that are individually wrapped in foam mesh socks, were cheaper than local apples. So I asked Maryann, if she had ever tried those. Turned out, she had not either. Those mesh socks make them look expensive, so, just like me, she had never really looked at the actual pricem until I pointed it out. So she bought a couple, and gave one to me. It turned out they were almost as juicy as watermelon, but as firm as Granny Smith apples, with just as fine a texture. Not sandy at all. The taste is a bit on the delicate side. Not bland, but definitely not a strong flavor. While they are cheaper than apples, I will go by that rack again, when it is my turn to shop for groceries. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Joan had invited her younger sister, Nancy, to leave her country home and come to the city for a weekend to see how the urban half lived. She also arranged for a friend of hers named Bill to take Nancy out for a night on the town. After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill and Nancy went to Bill's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a pleasant interlude; then Bill suggested they retire to the bedroom. "Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't think my sister would like it." "Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently took her arm. "She loves it."
Odor-Ama
Mountain bike racer gets taken out by antelope
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online!
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, October 11 I think I'll do the last mowing for the year today, and put the lawn mower away till spring. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!" The teacher replied, "Now, Little Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is '! urinate'. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly , and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you opened a few buttons, you'd be a TEN!"
Food Coloring
That reminds me, many years ago DearWebby wrote
"I prefer meat eaters. They taste a lot better."
Bear cubs on hammock
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online!
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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