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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, November 10 Re Cain's alleged groping on a date, when he was young and cute, most people seem to say: "So what? Who hasn't groped or been groped on a date? What is his economic platform?" From here it doesn't look like Cain and his team will win over teams, who have gatherd experience in previous attempts, and it surprises me, that the Democrats get so hysterical and paranoid about him. He will be a serious contender by 2020, especially since anything, that he is accused of now, will be off the table then. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
The teacher of a high school biology class had his students analyzing bacteria under the microscope. To show them the types of bacteria found in the human mouth, he had them take scrapings from between their own teeth and analyze these scrapings under the microscope. One girl was stumped in identifying the bacteria she scraped from between her teeth. The teacher took a look, stared disgustedly at the puzzled girl and said, "Those are sperm cells."
» Stalacites & Stalagmites
Fishing
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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, November 9 It looks like the lame-stream media has been ordered to badmouth Cain and try to make a big fuss out of nothing. What's the big deal if a guy acts normal and tries a bit of polite smooching, after he paid for a fancy meal and her hotel room? Most women would feel neglected and rejected, if he didn't make at least a little attempt. After all, his car is not a church, and suddenly trying a holier than thou attack, after a $2000 total make-over make-up job, that looks rather phony to me. I don't know Cain's politics, but I sure would not blame him for having totally forgotten that bimbo, and all others, who tried to flirt themselves into a job, but failed. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
Frank: Don't you want a glass of wine with your meal? Mary: Nah! I'm going to cut down on the alcohol. Frank: Really? Mary: Yeah, remember last summer? Frank: Certainly! Mary: Well, I don't!
» T, T & T
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Snake on the beach
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, November 8Well, the parents would argue that, and tell you that the greatest result is getting their couch back. When I see signs like "Down with Capitalism", I see proof, that some idiots don't have a clucking fue. Sure, right now I don't have enough capital for eating meat, and I envy those, who have, but I know, it is the capitalists who gamble their money on starting businesses and industries. It is most definitely not the Flea-Baggers, who start new industries. We all see what happens, when the capitalists get annoyed too much. How many computers, monitors, printers or cameras are made in North America these days? What percentage of Windows is still programmed in North America? It is quite pathetic. Now the Government is trying to outlaw NorthAmerican made lightbulbs. Is anybody smart enough to care? Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night: 5% said it was to get a glass of water 12% said it was to go to the toilet the rest said it was to go home
» Weird Wheels
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Got kicked out of the church bake sale again!
Somebody is going to get yelled at!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, November 7 Why is there so much ill will towards the Flea-Baggers? One argument often heard is "No Manifesto." Castro had his famous Manifesto. He succeeded. Castro didn't stick to his Manifesto any more than Obama honored his election promises, but during the revolution, he put his Manifesto into eerybody's hand, or reach. Che Guevara didn't have a Manifesto.He was cute, but he got shot when he tried the same thing on his continent, but without a manifesto.. The other beef is that the Flea-Baggers don't control their lunatic fringe and the agitators. Even though the lamestream media is still fanatically on the side of the Flea-Baggers, more and more of the abuses leak out. You-Tube works for everybody, ya know! Mob Rule Violent Occupy Wall Street / Occupy DC Protesters Prevented Hundreds of Peaceful Citizens from Leaving an Event at the DC Convention Center, including this woman in a wheelchair. That was the tamest video of the ones, that were sent to me. Mob incidents like those are just going to cause people to demand Law And Order, the exact opposite of what the Flea-Baggers want. If they don't smarten up soon, there is going to be a drastic crack-down, and NATO won't step in like they did in Libya. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
An elderly couple in a retirement community was surprised by a knock on their door late one night. Abraham, the husband got up to answer the door, only to find a huge and intimidating man staring back at him. "Oh, terrible this is! I'm going to be robbed and all my money I lose!" the old man screamed. "I'm not a robber," said the man in disgust. "I am a rapist." "Oh, thank goodness!" said Abraham with much relief. Then he shouted, "Sarah, it's for you!"
» Self-Photo-shopped
» Can Tho Floating market
Somebody is going to get yelled at!
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Ophelia
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, November 6 Your computer proabbly set your clock back, but your stove and your coffee maker need to be set back manually. Yes, it's winter time again. The grinches stole a sunset hour, and they are not going to give it back until spring. I envy the Russians! Their president cancelled the time change BS. His approval rating soared from "Tyrannical repression" to a lofty "What's the catch?" Don't be surprised if Obama will try to copy that, and get you stuck on winter time. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Thanks to Jim for this: The Agony of Dyslexia After Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You idiot! You're supposed to turn your clock back!"
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"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor. "You didn't do it, did you?" "I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
try the newsletter of my friend and coach, Dear Webby Dear Webby's Humor Letter |
Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out... "Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks, as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!"
A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. "I'd like some raisin bread, please." the man says politely. The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view. As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down those stairs. After a few trips, the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng. "Is yours raisin too?" the clerk yells at him testily. "No," croaks the old man... "But it's startin' to twitch."
» Self-Photo-shopped
A Day in the Life of an Occupy Wall St. Participant
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