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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, November 8Well, the parents would argue that, and tell you that the greatest result is getting their couch back. When I see signs like "Down with Capitalism", I see proof, that some idiots don't have a clucking fue. Sure, right now I don't have enough capital for eating meat, and I envy those, who have, but I know, it is the capitalists who gamble their money on starting businesses and industries. It is most definitely not the Flea-Baggers, who start new industries. We all see what happens, when the capitalists get annoyed too much. How many computers, monitors, printers or cameras are made in North America these days? What percentage of Windows is still programmed in North America? It is quite pathetic. Now the Government is trying to outlaw NorthAmerican made lightbulbs. Is anybody smart enough to care? Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night: 5% said it was to get a glass of water 12% said it was to go to the toilet the rest said it was to go home
» Weird Wheels
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Got kicked out of the church bake sale again!
Somebody is going to get yelled at!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, November 7 Why is there so much ill will towards the Flea-Baggers? One argument often heard is "No Manifesto." Castro had his famous Manifesto. He succeeded. Castro didn't stick to his Manifesto any more than Obama honored his election promises, but during the revolution, he put his Manifesto into eerybody's hand, or reach. Che Guevara didn't have a Manifesto.He was cute, but he got shot when he tried the same thing on his continent, but without a manifesto.. The other beef is that the Flea-Baggers don't control their lunatic fringe and the agitators. Even though the lamestream media is still fanatically on the side of the Flea-Baggers, more and more of the abuses leak out. You-Tube works for everybody, ya know! Mob Rule Violent Occupy Wall Street / Occupy DC Protesters Prevented Hundreds of Peaceful Citizens from Leaving an Event at the DC Convention Center, including this woman in a wheelchair. That was the tamest video of the ones, that were sent to me. Mob incidents like those are just going to cause people to demand Law And Order, the exact opposite of what the Flea-Baggers want. If they don't smarten up soon, there is going to be a drastic crack-down, and NATO won't step in like they did in Libya. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
An elderly couple in a retirement community was surprised by a knock on their door late one night. Abraham, the husband got up to answer the door, only to find a huge and intimidating man staring back at him. "Oh, terrible this is! I'm going to be robbed and all my money I lose!" the old man screamed. "I'm not a robber," said the man in disgust. "I am a rapist." "Oh, thank goodness!" said Abraham with much relief. Then he shouted, "Sarah, it's for you!"
» Self-Photo-shopped
» Can Tho Floating market
Somebody is going to get yelled at!
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, November 6 Your computer proabbly set your clock back, but your stove and your coffee maker need to be set back manually. Yes, it's winter time again. The grinches stole a sunset hour, and they are not going to give it back until spring. I envy the Russians! Their president cancelled the time change BS. His approval rating soared from "Tyrannical repression" to a lofty "What's the catch?" Don't be surprised if Obama will try to copy that, and get you stuck on winter time. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Thanks to Jim for this: The Agony of Dyslexia After Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You idiot! You're supposed to turn your clock back!"
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Thanks to Klide for sending this picture:
Click through for the big version
"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor. "You didn't do it, did you?" "I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"
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For clean, family safe humor and tech tips,
try the newsletter of my friend and coach, Dear Webby Dear Webby's Humor Letter |
Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out... "Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks, as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!"
A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. "I'd like some raisin bread, please." the man says politely. The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view. As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down those stairs. After a few trips, the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng. "Is yours raisin too?" the clerk yells at him testily. "No," croaks the old man... "But it's startin' to twitch."
» Self-Photo-shopped
A Day in the Life of an Occupy Wall St. Participant
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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, November 5 14 degrees below freezing outside, as I am writing this. Well, at least the shoveling type of winter fun is still a bit in the future. I am still hoping for a good and rambunctious Chinook to get rid of the leaves. We had some wind, well, we always have wind here in the foothills, but it just spread around the piles of leaves some people made, and has not hauled them across the prairies yet. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A synagogue honors its Rabbi for a quarter-century of service by sending him to Hawaii on a well-deserved vacation, all expenses paid. The President of the synagogue decides that in addition to the trip, the Rabbi should have fun and he makes arrangements to have a call-girl available for the Rabbi at all times. When the Rabbi walks into his hotel room, there is this nude young girl lying on the bed and she informs the Rabbi that she is his at any time during his vacation. The Rabbi, stunned and extremely embarrassed, demands to know who arranged this little situation, and of course, the girl is compelled to tell him. The Rabbi immediately picks up the phone, calls the synagogue, and gets through to the President of the congregation. 'Your respect, where is it'? he yells. 'How you could do something like this?' 'In high esteem I must be,by each and every member of this congregation. As your Rabbi, I am very, very angry with you!' As he continues to berate the President, the girl rises sheepishly from the bed, not wanting to further embarrass the Rabbi. As she stands, the Rabbi says "Where are you going? I'm not mad at you! I just have to make those schlemiels feel guilty until I get back."
» Practise makes a mess
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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, November 4 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!It looks like the Flea-Baggers are slowly wearing out their welcome. It is one thing being a smelly nuisance in Wall Street, but to interfere with people, who are tryiong to go to work, that is asking for trouble. Always has. Apparently huge student loans from ten years of partying don't mean the Flea-Baggers have learned any history. -------------- James, in Australia: The request to confirm, that you do want a subscription, and that your email works, has been sent to you. But not clicked on. Apparently some sniveling ninnie at adam.com.au censors that. Once my mail has entered the adam.com.au server, there is NOTHING more I can do about it. You too can get a Gmail address for important stuff. It would be embarrassing if the sniveling ninnies censored your electrical bill and you get cut off! Or if they censor their own invoice! With bozos like them, ya never know. I'll send you an invitation to Gmail. You can still keep the adam.com.au address on the side for spam. Just use the Gmail address for important stuff. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A man is driving late one Saturday night when a cop pulls him over. The policeman walked up to the window and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why? Was I weaving?" "No, you were driving just fine.", the policeman replied, and after a pointed glance at the passenger added: "But I doubt that you would have picked up Sally Jones if you were sober."
» Ugly Critters
Jetman, the reason Breitling watches are expensive
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Ophelia
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