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Good Morning, ! Today is Saturday, November 5 14 degrees below freezing outside, as I am writing this. Well, at least the shoveling type of winter fun is still a bit in the future. I am still hoping for a good and rambunctious Chinook to get rid of the leaves. We had some wind, well, we always have wind here in the foothills, but it just spread around the piles of leaves some people made, and has not hauled them across the prairies yet. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A synagogue honors its Rabbi for a quarter-century of service by sending him to Hawaii on a well-deserved vacation, all expenses paid. The President of the synagogue decides that in addition to the trip, the Rabbi should have fun and he makes arrangements to have a call-girl available for the Rabbi at all times. When the Rabbi walks into his hotel room, there is this nude young girl lying on the bed and she informs the Rabbi that she is his at any time during his vacation. The Rabbi, stunned and extremely embarrassed, demands to know who arranged this little situation, and of course, the girl is compelled to tell him. The Rabbi immediately picks up the phone, calls the synagogue, and gets through to the President of the congregation. 'Your respect, where is it'? he yells. 'How you could do something like this?' 'In high esteem I must be,by each and every member of this congregation. As your Rabbi, I am very, very angry with you!' As he continues to berate the President, the girl rises sheepishly from the bed, not wanting to further embarrass the Rabbi. As she stands, the Rabbi says "Where are you going? I'm not mad at you! I just have to make those schlemiels feel guilty until I get back."
» Practise makes a mess
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Good Morning, ! Today is Friday, November 4 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!It looks like the Flea-Baggers are slowly wearing out their welcome. It is one thing being a smelly nuisance in Wall Street, but to interfere with people, who are tryiong to go to work, that is asking for trouble. Always has. Apparently huge student loans from ten years of partying don't mean the Flea-Baggers have learned any history. -------------- James, in Australia: The request to confirm, that you do want a subscription, and that your email works, has been sent to you. But not clicked on. Apparently some sniveling ninnie at adam.com.au censors that. Once my mail has entered the adam.com.au server, there is NOTHING more I can do about it. You too can get a Gmail address for important stuff. It would be embarrassing if the sniveling ninnies censored your electrical bill and you get cut off! Or if they censor their own invoice! With bozos like them, ya never know. I'll send you an invitation to Gmail. You can still keep the adam.com.au address on the side for spam. Just use the Gmail address for important stuff. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A man is driving late one Saturday night when a cop pulls him over. The policeman walked up to the window and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why? Was I weaving?" "No, you were driving just fine.", the policeman replied, and after a pointed glance at the passenger added: "But I doubt that you would have picked up Sally Jones if you were sober."
» Ugly Critters
Jetman, the reason Breitling watches are expensive
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Ophelia
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Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, November 3 A reader wrote today to ask, why the short sample version didn't have the good picture of the day, just the smal second picture. Well, Mr Big Spender, if you don't think you are worth two cents per day, then you simply can't have, what the people, who pay two cents per day, get in their daily mail. You can even do it by the month! Just save up one dollar, and subscribe for one month. It is a bit more expensive that way, but $1 is the minimum transaction allowed. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Here is a tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A little old lady's phone rings late one night and she answers it. "Hello," a deep voice on the other end says, "I know you, you'd like me to push you down on the bed and rip all your clothes off, lick your body all over and make rough love to you." The old lady looks at the phone blushing and in amazement and replies, "You can tell all that from a just the way I said 'Hello?'"
» Ugly Critters
Jetman, the reason Breitling watches are expensive
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online!
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, November 2 It is going to be interesting to see what happens with Greece. The country is still socialist, and the majority still believes, that the rest of Europe should get stuck paying for the social perks enjoyed by greeks, like retirement at full pay at age 50. Some people hoped for a military coup to force the country to accept a bit of common sense, so the the defense minister fired all the top brass in the military. Well, if they had not planned anything like that, now they definitely have the time for it! I would not hold my breath waiting for it, though. A coup might seem too much like work for them. Most likely they will just take their retirement with full pay, and go fishing. Playing hard to get when the Eurozone offered to pay for 50% of the Greek debt, is definitely not going to go over well. I'm glad I am in Canada and can watch from a ssafe distance! Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
"I'm going to give up this drinking," Brian said to his friend. "I got so drunk last night that I just barely staggered home and managed to drag myself up the stairs to the bedroom." "So what's so bad about that?" his friend Paul asked. "Well, when I opened the bedroom door," Brian said "I found that I was already in bed making love to my wife. So I was going to go back to the bar, to see if I had left, but fell down the stairs and woke up in the morning as sore as if I had gotten beat up."
» Surf's Up
Paraglider escapes injury after crashing into two eagles
Text and movie.
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
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Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, November 1 Woke up to a couple of inches of snow, but by evening it was mostly gone. Tuesday afternoon it is supposed to warm up to 5 degrees above freezing. Briefly. Well, summer is definitely over. Might as well get the warm socks ready. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Tiny sample of the type of jokes that are in the full version:
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four animals." The teacher asked, "Really, and what four animals? The little girl said A mink on my back, a jaguar in the Garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it." The Teacher Fainted
» Central Park NYC (minus fleas)
Fishing hazard
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie, you have to subscribe to the full version.
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Since July 1, 2011,
the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
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If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.
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ophelia@dingbatter.com |
Please help me stay online!
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See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com
| Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News |
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Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody. |
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