Ophelia Dingbatter's News
NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, December 9. Thanks Vicki ! It is going to warm up to "Near seasonal values" by mid week. Ice age will be postponed until further notice. Enjoy! Ophelia
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Doug stumbled into the bar and after several drinks confided to his friend Bill, "The next time I give her the ultimatum 'Sex or Walk' I must remember to be in my own car and not hers."
>From Don I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain about an ad I'd placed. It was obvious the person who took my information had never spent any time on a farm. "I said 'ewes'," I argued. "Pardon?" replied the operator. "Ewes. It makes a difference to some people." The ad, that was placed read: "Sheep for sale--USED." instead of "Sheep for sale, ewes."
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>From Sheila Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The creature was black, with a huge and striking red-and-gold beak. "Hey, look! A toucan!" I yelled. "Toucan nothin'," said the Aussie driver. "It's a crow with its beak stuck in a McDonald's fries carton."
To love your fellow man is to know true joy. To get him out of the house before your spouse comes home is probably also a good thing. --- Caroline Gennity
A man takes his 4 year old son in for his yearly well child visit to The doctor. The doctor asks the little boy, "Do you know your name?" He tells her, "Yes my name is Timmy." "And Timmy, do you know your mom's name?" "Yes her name is Mommy," said Timmy. "And what is Mommy's real name?" And little Timmy says, "it's Tammy." "That is great," the doctor told Timmy. Then the doctor asked, "And what is your daddy's name?" Timmy said, "it is daddy." Finally the doctor asked, "And what does mommy call him?" Timmy looked up innocently and replied, "Asshole."
Grass cart racing in Australia Enjoy! Ophelia
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