Ophelia Dingbatter's News
NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 25

Got a really nice letter from Roy:
Hi again, no panic, but not remembering when my renewal date
is, ( I now have the first stages of Alzheimers disease.), I
wasn't sure whether I had accidentally run overdue on my
subscription. In any case, I hope the unexpected cash will be
useful, by the way, I feel that you are definitely
underselling yourself, I feel your efforts should rate a
higher reward, accordingly in future I shall send $10C every
6 months. Feel free to let your other readers know, if an old
fart like me on just an old age pension can afford it, I'm
sure some of those other affluent youngsters can too!

I'll start on 1st April 2017 with the first intermediate
payment then every 1st November and April. Have a good year
and stay happy.

Warmest Regards,   Roy.

Thanks Roy!


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___________________________________________________ 1 Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!" The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!" Suddenly, they hear a blood-curdling scream from down the hall, "Oh my gosh!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!" ______________________________________________________ 2 A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's club and became very active. After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men, urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter. After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action. After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges. ______________________________________________________ 3 Did you know that Moochelle's mother will get a lifetime pension of $160,000 a year for having babysitted Mochelle's kids? That actually is no joke. Sad, but true. And nobody bats an eye. ______________________________________________________ 4 At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something in her ear. "You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let you do a thing like that to me?" Then her eyes narrowed and she said, "Unless you're the s.o.b. who found my diary on the bus." ______________________________________________________ 5 As cab drivers oftentimes do, the driver was darting in and out of heavy traffic with complete abandon. After a few hair raising blocks, his passenger leaned forward and said, "Would you please be more careful? I have six children at home." "Scheesch lady." murmured the cabbie. "You got six kids and ya got the nerve to tell ME to be careful?" ______________________________________________________ 6 It was the first time that thety had made love. They were fondling each other intimately. She had his donger in her hand. "What do you call it?" she asked. "Some guys call theirs Dick or Peter, John Thomas or Willie. What do you call yours?" "I don't have to call mine anything," he replied "It usually 'cums' without being called names." ____________________________________________________

Look what is left of the burglar: Just the socks!
Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia
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