Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
		Subscribe

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 9.

Thanks Vicki !

It is going to warm up to "Near seasonal values"
by mid week. Ice age will be postponed until further
notice. 

Enjoy!
Ophelia


 
If you like my work,

Please donate a dollar, 

or two, if you can afford it!

Please, help me stay online!

	


Doug stumbled into the bar and after several drinks confided
to his  friend Bill, "The next time I give her the ultimatum
'Sex or Walk'  I must remember to be in my own car
and not hers."


>From Don
I called the local newspaper's classified section to 
complain about an ad I'd placed. It was obvious the person 
who took my information had never spent any time on a farm.

"I said 'ewes'," I argued.

"Pardon?" replied the operator.

"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people."

The ad, that was placed read: "Sheep for sale--USED."
instead of "Sheep for sale, ewes."



Subscribe a friend to Ophelia Dingbatter's News!

(They will receive a confirmation request)


 


For clean, family safe humor and tech tips, 
try the newsletter
of my friend and coach, Dear Webby

Dear Webby's Humor Letter


>From Sheila
Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird
flying overhead. The creature was black, with a huge and striking
red-and-gold beak. "Hey, look! A toucan!" I yelled.

"Toucan nothin'," said the Aussie driver. "It's a crow with its
beak stuck in a McDonald's fries carton."



To love your fellow man is to know true joy. To get him 
out of the house before your spouse comes home is 
probably also a good thing.
--- Caroline Gennity


A man takes his 4 year old son in for his yearly
well child visit to The doctor. The doctor asks the
little boy, "Do you know your name?"

He tells her, "Yes my name is Timmy."

"And Timmy, do you know your mom's name?"

"Yes her name is Mommy," said Timmy.

"And what is Mommy's real name?"

And little Timmy says, "it's Tammy."

"That is great," the doctor told Timmy. Then the doctor
asked, "And what is your daddy's name?"

Timmy said, "it is daddy."

Finally the doctor asked, "And what does mommy call him?"

Timmy looked up innocently and replied, "Asshole."







Grass cart racing in Australia

Enjoy!
Ophelia





Subscribe 




Since 1/1/12

   Countries

ophelia@dingbatter.com	Please help me stay online!
Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News Don't worry, they will get a confirmation request. Unless they confirm, their subscription will not be completed..
Guaranteed Privacy! Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software © Webby 1996-2013

545

You can un-subscribe from this list by clicking this link: http://webby.com/magiclist/index.cgi?act=u&l=Ding1&email=t@posty.net

Subscribe and get my newsletter in your email every morning!

Since 1/1/12

Countries

For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,

3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you
   successfully receive the free subscription!

If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.

4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at

You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia

If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please help me stay online!

Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News

Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.

Large Font Version |

| Subscribe |

95033