Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, Sept 28

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Ophelia

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___________________________________________________ 1 The four newlyweds spent their honeymoon at the Niagara Falls. They occupied adjoining rooms, sat at the same table, and were inseparable. One evening after dinner as they were returning to their rooms, there was lightning and the lights went off. It was pitch dark, and groping their way they made it to their rooms, and quietly undressed. Jack a religious fellow knelt to pray. Just as he completed his prayer, the lights came on that he saw that he was with his friend's wife. He jumped up and dashed for the door "Too late to hurry now," said the girl "Joe never prays!" ______________________________________________________ 2 A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Every Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband, and those 3 minutes sure are not tiring me out. ______________________________________________________ 3 A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!" He never heard the shot. Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin. ______________________________________________________ 4 Welsh man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Welsh man shouts "Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachi yn y dwr" (Don't drink the water, it's full of cow shit.) The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you". The Welsh man shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in" ______________________________________________________ 5 It was the first night for a newly wed couple. The bride was still a virgin because she is afraid of dicks, especially large ones. To make his white bride feel at ease, the groom said to the her, "OK, I am going to go outside and slowly show you my dick through the door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be afraid of." So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then stuck a little bit of his dick through the gap and asked, "Does that scare you?" She chuckled a little and said, "Nope!" He then pushed a little more through the gap and again he asked, "Does that scare you?" "Nope," she replied. He pushed some more through the gap and asked, "Does that scare you?" "Nope," she said laughing. He then said, "Alright, you seem to be okay with it. I am coming up the stairs now!" ______________________________________________________ 6 There was a young lady of Bicester Who was hotter by far than her sister. The sister would giggle And wiggle and jiggle But the hot one would cum if you kissed her! ____________________________________________________



Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia
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