Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, March 27

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Ophelia


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Those who matter don't judge me. Those who judge me don't matter. Those, who click me some grocery money, REALLY matter. ____________________________________________________ 1 When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest," she said. "How long have you been married?" I asked. "Ten years," she replied. _____________________________________________________ 2 A young nurse was giving an old army man a bath and told him he would have to wash his own privates. "Privates?!" he shouted. "At my age they should be at least Generals by now." _____________________________________________________ 3 The young Swedish au pair had been working for the Schmitts for more than a year. While hardworking and efficient, she still struggled with English. One day she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had received good news from her boyfriend Sven. "He is coming visit me from army next week!" "That's wonderful," the woman replied. "How long is his furlough?" "Oh," the young woman said, "about long as Mr. Schmitt's. Maybe little ticker." _____________________________________________________ 4 This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and,feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks,"Why don't we get it on,eh?" She replies "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later,he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?" _____________________________________________________ 5 There was a young engineer named Miss Holt, Who had an assistant as spry as a Colt. When she asked for a screw, What did the young man do, But offer her two nuts and a bolt. _____________________________________________________ 6 Jill: C'mon, Mary, exactly how many men have you been with? Mary: Now, Jill, I've taken the Army's policy on that information and adapted it for my own situation. Jill: What do you mean? Mary: Don't ask; don't tell; don't remember. =====================================================



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