Ophelia Dingbatter's News
NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Please vote forOphelia Dingbatter! Subscribe
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, February 19

Enjoy!
Ophelia

Please vote for me at the EzineFinder
Ophelia Dingbatter Thanks for voting for me!
Those who matter don't judge me. Those who judge me don't matter. Those, who click me some grocery money, REALLY matter. ____________________________________________________ 1 "Well, last week I done made a mistake," said Les. "I went to the local hardware store and bought some Vigaro (fertilizer) but it tasted awful and didn't do what I thought it was supposed to do. My neighbor then told me that there was a difference 'tween Vigaro and Viagra!" "Actually," said Lee, "your dick should be turning green 'bout now." _____________________________________________________ 2 "Jeffrey," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, it doesn't matter," explained the teacher, "you don't even know what it means." "I do, so!" Jeffrey corrected. "It means the car won't start." _____________________________________________________ 3 An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination," said the young girl. "Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue." _____________________________________________________ 4 A woman goes to see her Podiatrist. She says, "Doc, I just got back from a few weeks in the Bahamas and the weather was so great I spent most of the days just lying on the sand. But the strangest thing happened. Whenever a good looking guy came by, I would get this strange tingling sensation between my toes." The podiatrist thought this was kind of unusual and examined her. He asked her if she had this sensation between all of her toes. She replied, "Actually no, just between my 2 big toes!" _____________________________________________________ 5 Bill: "So how often do you have sex with your wife?" Doug: "Oh, four or five times a week." Bill: "That's more often than I get it!" Doug: "Well, it should be... after all, she's MY wife." _____________________________________________________ 6 The two little old ladies, who were long time friends and a bit old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own respective religion. It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt very lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, so one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to visit her old friend. When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs, and kisses. Mrs. Murphy said "Don't be holdin' back, Mrs. Cohen, how do you like it here?" Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food, the facility and the caretakers. Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she said, "But the best thing is that I now have a boyfriend." Mrs. Murphy said, "Now isn't that wonderful! Tell me all about it. Mrs. Cohen said, "After lunch we go up to my room and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on the top and then all over, and then we sing Jewish songs." Mrs. Murphy said, "For sure it's a blessing. I'm so glad for you Mrs. Cohen." Mrs. Cohen said, "And how is it with you, Mrs. Murphy?" Mrs. Murphy said it was also wonderful at her new facility, and that she also had a boyfriend. Mrs. Cohen said, "Good for you! So what do you do?" "We also go up to my room after lunch and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on top, and then I let him touch me all over" Mrs. Cohen said, "Yes? And then....?" Mrs. Murphy said, "Well, since we don't know any Jewish songs, we screw." =====================================================



Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia
Ophelia Dingbatter
If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!
====================================================== Click to subscribe to the full version! Enjoy! Ophelia
Free counters!
For more than one joke, plus the day's pictures and movie,
you have to subscribe to the full version.

Since July 1, 2011, the Ophelia Dingbatter's News is 2.7 cents per day,
$1 per month or $10 per year.

Can you afford $1 per month?

To subscribe,
1) If you are not signed up, sign up with the Double-Opt-In Subscriber,

2) Confirm, that your email address CAN receive mail from me,

3) That will get you the free subscption.
If you receive it OK, you can proceed to step #4.
If not, check your spam settings and with your ISP or email processor.
   Do NOT proceed to step #4 until you     
   successfully receive the free subscription!    


If the free subscription gets censored and does not make it through to you,
then the paid version will not make it through either.

   Do NOT complain to me,   
   if your spam setting or your ISP censors your email.  
   There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about what   
   goes on at your ISP or in your computer.  


4) AFTER you have verified, that you CAN receive my newsletter,
THEN you can pay for your subscription to the full version at


You can pay easily and securely with PayPal,
even if you don't have a PayPal account.
Just use your credit or debit card or E-check.

If you want to pay with a paper check, Webby will cash it for me.
Please send it to

Webby, inc
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Please mark on it somewhere, that it is for Ophelia.
I will add you to the list the moment Webby tells me about
receiving your check.

Enjoy!
Ophelia


If the Subscriber buttons don't work on your browser,
you can accomplish the same with the donate button.

Ophelia Dingbatter
ophelia@dingbatter.com
Please help me stay online!
Enough for today!
See ya tomorrow!
Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

Please subscribe a friend to the Ophelia Dingbatter News
Privcy guaranteed by Webby Names and addresses will never be sold or transferred to anybody.
Large Font Version   |  Please vote forOphelia Dingbatter!    |  Subscribe  |  

MagicList 7.5 Newsletter Manager Software Webby 1996-2014

     63282