Ophelia Dingbatter's News

Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, Sept 28

Enjoy!
Ophelia

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___________________________________________________
1
The four newlyweds spent their honeymoon at the Niagara
Falls. They occupied adjoining rooms, sat at the same table,
and were inseparable.

One evening after dinner as they were returning to their
rooms, there was lightning and the lights went off. It was
pitch dark, and groping their way they made it to their
rooms, and quietly undressed.

Jack a religious fellow knelt to pray. Just as he completed
his prayer, the lights came on that he saw that he was with
his friend's wife. He jumped up and dashed for the door

"Too late to hurry now," said the girl "Joe never prays!"

______________________________________________________
2
A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted
all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the
doctor gets around to asking her how often she has
intercourse.

"Every Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
and Saturday," she says.

The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.

"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home
with my husband, and those 3 minutes sure are not tiring me
out.

______________________________________________________
3
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer
negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that
range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher
the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays
the $500 and takes it home. 

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put
it on, and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I
have an idea. 
It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put
it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow,
and keep the $500 refund for myself." 

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. 

The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd
at least iron it!" 

He never heard the shot. Funeral on Thursday at Noon. 

Closed coffin.

______________________________________________________
4
Welsh man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water
from a pool with his hand. 

The Welsh man shouts 
"Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachi yn y dwr" 
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow shit.) 

The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't
understand you". 

The Welsh man shouts back 
"Use both hands, you'll get more in"

______________________________________________________
5
It was the first night for a newly wed couple. 
The bride was still a virgin because she is afraid of dicks, 
especially large ones. 

To make his white bride feel at ease, the groom said to the
her, "OK, I am going to go outside and slowly show you my
dick through the door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be
afraid of." 

So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then
stuck a little bit of his dick through the gap and asked,
"Does that scare you?" 

She chuckled a little and said, "Nope!" 

He then pushed a little more through the gap and again he 
asked, "Does that scare you?" 

"Nope," she replied. He pushed some more through the gap and 
asked, "Does that scare you?" 

"Nope," she said laughing. 

He then said, "Alright, you seem to be okay with it. I am
coming up the stairs now!" 

______________________________________________________
6
There was a young lady of Bicester 
Who was hotter by far than her sister. 
The sister would giggle 
And wiggle and jiggle 
But the hot one would cum if you kissed her! 

____________________________________________________















Enjoy!

(¯`v´¯)
Ophelia


======================================================



 
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Please, help me stay online!

	

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Enjoy!
Ophelia

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Ophelia

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Ophelia
ophelia@dingbatter.com

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